Dear My Knight

4. Chersha Kalua – (3)

***

“Chersha…”

A deeply sunken tone.

Just hearing that made Chersha her negative thoughts coil in her head.

Just that….

Her heart sinks as she thinks that that alone will lead to a negative answer like rejection.

Chersha grabbed the hem of her robe with her own hand, which she hid under her table.

“The word that I will become your knight.”

Ed lightly touches the teacup while continuing his conversation.

“I still remember, no, eight years later, I have never forgotten that word. Because the heart I decided to become a knight came only from you, Chersha.”

Chersha looks at Ed speaking in a subdued voice, as if she were confiding in her feelings in a small way.

“My words from now on may sound like… a simple excuse to you, Chersha.”

‘An excuse.’

That’s not a big deal. She sank Chersha’s chest even more, as if she had been stabbed in the chest by her giant knife.

However, Chersha, who did not express herself on the outside, smiled and accepted the words.

“It doesn’t matter… I don’t care. Ed, if you want to tell me anything, tell me everything.”

“Thank you very much for saying that.”

“Don’t thank me already. If it’s something I don’t understand… If that’s what you’re trying to say, I won’t let you go.”

Chersha received Ed’s words in a sharp tone, as if cutting off coldly.

It was as if she had already heard the answer to my words.

From the moment Ed put the word ‘excuse’. The huge anticipation that settled in one side of his mind disappeared, and it continued to sink coldly.

Your own words that you won’t let go.

What would you do with him?

Ed showed such a roundabout refusal.

Coming now, what the heck.

What are you going to do?

Chersha shook her head bitterly.

“…Yes. Okay.”

At Chersha’s appearance, Ed smiled bitterly and took a small breath.

Chersha’s attitude suddenly changed.

This relationship from the beginning to now is not something that Chersha clung to herself.

During her childhood, she uttered only her own words at will, and I did not hear any reply from her.

‘……’

So, even after eight years, she remembered those words and the appearance of Chersha who came to visit her in person was more than that.

She didn’t even get her promise of being a knight. Although she didn’t even take it.

Even when he was young, he and Chersha didn’t have any kind of relationship.

Maybe… In those childhood days, she and I shared each other’s hearts.

I didn’t even know you already knew.

It was only now that he had such thoughts.

That’s why she has been looking for herself even after a long time has passed, and she must be constantly shaking as she faces Chersha.

After choosing her words for a moment, Ed opened his mouth in a calm voice.

“I want to tell you all the things I have experienced and felt since I was adopted by the Glaad family and moved into this mansion.”

“Chersha, who remembered my words and visited me like this, conveying my thoughts to you. That’s the bare minimum of courtesy, so that’s what I think.”

Chersha, who had a cold expression on Ed’s words, just looked at her with an indifferent face, but she didn’t answer.

Ed opened his mouth again at Chersha’s appearance, as if telling her to continue.

“The first day I came to Gleaad was winter. Unlike the warm East, the city and forest that I saw before entering this mansion were continuously covered in pure white.”

“The first few months after that, I tried to adapt to it. At first, there were people in the mansion who approached me kindly, and I thought that I wouldn’t have too much trouble adjusting to this place.”

“However, that was my opinion until I realized that I had no talent as a knight.”

“…What?”

As if she didn’t understand for a moment, Chersha interrupted Ed’s monologue.

Ed smiled bitterly at Chersha’s questionable appearance and continued talking.

“I had no talent as a knight.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

He had known about Glead several times, so he knew it to some extent.

A fairly famous knight family.

And adopting a child from a nursery school in a knight’s family is a talent more than anything else.

Because that was common.

Other than that, I couldn’t think of any reason to bring a child from a nursery school into a knight’s family.

The reality of the world is not that beautiful.

She knew that fact more than anything else, Chersha, from her childhood.

“It’s literally true. Because I realized clearly the moment I held the sword that I had no talent as a knight. Even when I swung the sword, I didn’t really feel anything. It just felt like holding a stick and iron and setting it up.”

Ed, who was looking at Chersha’s expression of doubt about something he didn’t understand, spat out the words again, as if blocking it earlier.

“My life after it was revealed that I had no talent as a knight… Was pretty difficult. No, to be honest, I ended up living a hellish life in itself.”

“With no background, let alone talent, I soon received contempt and contempt from the people in my family.”

“……”

“Nevertheless, I tried my best by holding the sword for more than half a day every day, but I only stayed in the lower class for three years, and it wasn’t until two years later that I went up to the intermediate level.”

“In a way, I think I can say that I have lived a pretty terrible life for those five years, which are long if long and short if short. And over and over again, Chersha, I remembered the words I gave you.”

“Your own words to be her knight. Looking forward to meeting you in the future, I endured that hellish time thinking that if I continued to train and work hard, I would be able to reach it.”

“At that time, I remembered her own words… how many times a day…”

“Chersha, you probably don’t know.”

Ed smiled self-deprecatingly and took a moment to catch his breath.

“……”

Ed’s words are like a continuous monologue.

Chersha pursed her lips and tried to say something. At Ed’s deeply sunken gaze…

She couldn’t say anything at all.

The way Ed spoke without taking her eyes off herself seemed to have a meaning that was hard to explain in words.

So, as she met Ed’s gaze, she focused on what Ed said.

From noble mtl dot com.

Just.

It was hard for her to understand when Ed said that she had no talent.

Because Ed clearly thought of himself as a “Kind”.

For the first time, he understood himself that no one else could understand.

A partner with whom you could share your thoughts and words without any hesitation.

Be the first to notice your stuffy heart that no one noticed,

Things that came to you.

I still remember that fateful encounter at the nursery school.

That’s why it was even more difficult to understand what he said.

“Then a sudden change happened to me.”

“It is unbelievable that he was suddenly given the surname Glaad while he was just living his life as an ordinary knight without any talent.”

Gives the surname of a famous family.

That means being able to have the qualifications of the same class as a direct descendant of a family inheriting a family name.

Chersha She knew the news, so of course she was recognized by her family thanks to her talent as Ed’s knight, she vaguely thought that.

However, looking back at what Ed had just heard, none of it made any sense.

That a child from a nursery school with no talent was adopted by a famous knight family.

After 5 years, an ordinary knight who has reached an intermediate level is given a family name.

Moreover, the family’s contempt and persecution.

Then it doesn’t even make sense…

“Without even knowing English, I was given the surname of Glead before I knew it. However, since then, my life has changed surprisingly.”

“People who openly look down on me, persecute me, or ignore me have disappeared like ghosts.”

“Is the life of a person given a family name so different? I felt desperate then. How big is the difference in status, and what it means to live a normal life.”

“Nothing has changed in me, except that I was given the surname of Glead. Since then, I have gradually been able to breathe. A life that had always felt like hell felt normal.”

“Suddenly, I was able to regain the will to live to the point where I suddenly thought about it.”

“Until then, sometimes I even thought of wanting to die as it is, countless times. I even felt that life after that was sweet.”

“…Don’t say that.”

Chersha spat out the words without even realizing it.

I want to die.

I never imagined that Ed would say such weak words.

I couldn’t help but be surprised at the sudden, so heinous words.

I couldn’t even guess what kind of life he had been living for the past 8 years, even now after hearing what he said.

His now deeply sunken eyes, calmly spouting out his past, seemed even foreign to him.

‘…I don’t know.’

He said that the person he knew, Ed, was definitely a man with a charm that captivated people.

Even though he was at the dark nursery school for the first time, his surroundings were always full of people.

As if attracted by his charm, they gathered one by one and wanted to get closer to him.

It didn’t matter what age he was, and he was loved by everyone, both adults and children.

A child with an aura that always encompasses the surroundings.

The Ed he knew was definitely that kind of person.

However, talking about such a dark past and showing deeply sunken eyes.

“Chersha It’s just a story from the past. I don’t think so now.”

Ed’s face as he spoke with a small smile also looked bright like a handful of light illuminating the darkness.

“…”

To speak of one’s past in a very dark way until just now. Chersha stared blankly at Ed at the sight of him smiling again as if to cover it up.