Director’s Legend

"The one who won the Worst Director Award is... Shao Shuaijun! From "The Nightman", first of all congratulations to Shao Shuaijun. He became the youngest director ever to win the Worst Director Award for the Golden Plum Award. Shao, you won the worst director award. Director, we don’t entangle, what we entangled is, shouldn’t be called “Nightman”, should be called “Nightman”, the nightman will be horrible after hearing the name, don’t you?”

Shao Shuaijun stepped onto the stage with a bad face amidst the applause of everyone. The lights of the cinema went out, leaving only a flashlight on Shao Shuaijun's face.

"Wow, the night man is on stage, everyone applauds!"

In the applause, Shao Shuaijun took the shabby golden plum trophy from two comedians. From left to right, they looked like used film boxes. The raspberries on the top seemed to be about to fall off. Moreover, this trophy is different from ordinary trophies. It is very small, so small that the lens is out of alignment. I don’t know if you still have the trophy.

The flashlight was shining dazzlingly, and Shao Shuaijun glared: "I'm not a night watcher, and I don't haunt at night, so please turn on the light. Otherwise, believe it or not, I immediately threw the broken box and trampled it on the ground?"

When the lights turned on, Shao Shuaijun nodded in satisfaction.

"Someone just said it was called Nightman, I was planning to call it Nightman for the sequel."

"The night watcher is so bad, is there a sequel?" someone shouted in the audience.

Shao Shuaijun raised his eyelids: "No matter how bad it is, "Two Sided Suspect" has five awards. Also, at night, remember to close the doors and windows and cover the mirror with cloth, or you will wait for Gyllen Hill Let’s talk to you. Okay, let’s not talk nonsense. To tell the truth, I have directed seven films for four years, five of which were screened in the United States. However, I have never won a formal director award. In China, In the United States, in Cannes, in Berlin, in Venice, I didn’t even give me nominations. I never thought that the first international award for directors in my life would be the Golden Raspberry Award. Look at how much this broken box is. It’s made, 5 dollars is enough to buy a dozen, no wonder no celebrity is willing to come and can’t make up for the fare for a trip, and lose once every time!"

"Haha." The audience laughed.

Shao Shuaijun continued to talk nonsense on the above: "Although it is a shabby box, I also want to say my acceptance speech, cough. First of all, I am very grateful to the judges for presenting this award to me. I am excited, shocked, apprehensive, disturbed, and, There is a deep urge to roar. Are you so optimistic about "The Night Watcher"? Okay, I brought a gift to every judge today."

With that said, Shao Shuaijun shouted at the assistant Wang Cuicui in the audience: "Go and let the workers move the goods. One person can send one, no one can be less."

When everyone was at a loss, the workers who had been waiting opened the cargo box of the truck, took out stacks of "Night Watcher" DVDs, and rushed into the cinema, scattered one by one.

Shao Shuaijun laughed loudly on it: "You said before on the nomination that "The Night Watcher" was a big bad movie, so bad that no one watched it. Okay, I know there are 700 viewers sitting in the audience today. Half of them are judges. You said that no one watched it. You definitely haven't watched it. If you haven't watched it, you can conclude that "The Night Watcher" is not good-looking. Wow, you ruined my director career, I mean it's almost. "

Screaming, applauding and applauding continued below.

Shao Shuaijun continued: "So, I brought you all a gift. Everyone has a DVD of "The Night Watcher". Oh, there are also a few hardcover editions in it. There are DVDs with Gyllenhill signed posters. That's an easter egg. . You must take a closer look when you go back. Don’t just watch it and just say it’s a bad movie. If you’ve watched it, especially those who got the Easter eggs, and feel that the movie is not bad after watching, I’ll come here again. Return this broken box to you!"

Wow!

"Haha."

There was laughter in the cinema.

Shao Shuaijun was about to step down, and suddenly remembered something: "I was a bit suddenly at home. I watched Harry Berry's acceptance speech for a long time at home. I really hope I can also be so sincere and excited. But you see, I There is no way, the DVDs are all delivered, please stop looking for me in the future, I will continue my career as a director!"

"Finally, Thank-you-very-much (thank you very much)!"

Amid applause, Shao Shuaijun said the last sentence in an exaggerated ironic tone, holding the Worst Director Award, and walking back to the stage with embarrassment. There will be an award for the best picture later, and he is likely to take a walk on stage.

However, after Shao Shuaijun, it was the turn of "Suspected Kill" to debut.

"The worst actress is... Lindsay Lohan, from "Suspected Kill". It is incredible. This is already the sixth award. But I want to say that we are losing money by giving them so many awards. Shao took only one item and gave us a car of DVDs. What did Chris give us? What did Lindsay give us? It was dull, or a lunatic movie?"

"The worst on-screen partner is... Lindsay Lohan and Lindsay Lohan, from "Double Suspect", the seventh award, it is really crazy to win the award. Oh, yes, have you heard Wrong, did I just say two Lindsay Lohan or one? This question is full of unknowns. Even our judges saw the movie at the end, but they didn’t figure out whether Lindsay Lohan played one person or two people. , Or twins? Maybe we are just as crazy as the director and screenwriter of this movie?"

"The one who won the worst supporting actor is... Eddie Murphy, from "Norbit"..."

"The one who won the worst supporting actress... Eddie Murphy, from "Nobit"..."

"The one who won the worst actor... Eddie Murphy, from "Nobit"..."

"Wow, this is crazier than Lindsay Lohan. Can you guys know why the names of the three awards are the same? Obviously, the judges can't get it wrong. You have to ask Eddie. Murphy, why does he appear in the leading actor, supporting actor, and supporting actress? Maybe this is his style. One will be a woman, another will be a man, and another will be neither male nor female...

"OK, happy time is always short. It's the last award tonight. First of all, let's ask Shao, what is your mood now?"

When the camera turned around, Shao Shuaijun pretended to look at his watch impatiently: "I'm thinking, how long will I have to listen to your nonsense..."

"It seems that Shao can't wait to win the prize."

"Well, in the final climax, the worst film is..."

Shao Shuaijun secretly prayed in his heart that he has already got the worst director, and stop taking the worst film, otherwise, today will be a day of tragedy.

The award-presenting guests paused for a while, and then shouted: "Congratulations to Chris Severcent for "Double-Sided Murder", he has won eight unprecedented awards. He is the biggest winner of the Golden Raspberry Award tonight! Haha, Shao, you didn't win the prize. Are you disappointed?"

Shao Shuaijun also laughed: "I want to say, I am sorry that "The Night Watcher" did not get this award. But I am not jealous at all. Really, I sincerely congratulate Chris Sievert Director, he is well-deserved, the focus of tonight, congratulations!" (To be continued. Please search Piaotian Literature, the novel is better and updated faster!)