Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World

Chapter 33 – Armed Robbers Slaughtered in Florida Man's Store. The Store Owner Pleads "Please Raid My Store Again! I Love It!"

"Something's wrong. Why doesn't his Qi disperse? He should have lost all supporting inner energy. No matter how strong he is, it's impossible to move in there!"

Duan Mu had a bad feeling about Leo. His aura condition didn't change after being hit by the Qi Sealing Array. All soul formation cultivators in the past succumbed to this array. As cultivators relied on Qi as an energy source and ate grain pills instead of hard food, they always ran out of energy after the Qi had been dispersed.

Yet, Leo was still looking healthy!

Seeing how Leo broke the talisman's seals and came out, Duan Mu ordered his men.

"He must be pretending! There's no way that he can move around for long. All units! Keep your distance. Wait for him to run out of energy and become crippled because of starvation and energy depletion."

The assassins nodded and backed away from the array dome. They were also confident that the array could trap Leo.

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Meanwhile, Leo looked around, scanning the perimeter and counting the enemies. A total of 14 people were surrounding this place. However, as Leo looked further, he found another silhouette of another ninja behind a pine tree.

'14 robbers. Wow, a large group.'

Leo didn't wait for them to answer his previous question. He deeply exhaled and strode toward his pet.

The assassins snorted. One of them shot a bolt at Leo's face, aiming at his right eye. After applying his Qi, the bolt flew at the speed of a modern rifle's bullet!

The bolt directly hit Leo's pupil. However, it failed to penetrate through the soft-looking eyeball. Instead, the bolt broke!

"What the hell?!" The assassin was taken aback.

Leo ignored the crowd. He brought out a low-grade elixir grain pill from his pocket. Then, he fed it to Cat and patted its head.

"I'm sorry. I wish I had a bigger house to keep you indoors."

"Meow..."

Cat nudged at Leo's chest while crying. Leo wiped its tear and cleaned its dirty dusty face.

"You also need to take a bath and brush your teeth. You stink."

"Meow!"

Cat sobbed, but it kept nudging its head against Leo's chest. The latter stroked its cheek twice and turned his head, looking at the uninvited guests.

WHOOSH

WHOOSH

WHOOSH

Countless arrows hit Leo's face, arms, legs, and body. However, none of them managed to pierce through his skin.

"Dear customers, you shouldn't throw peas at people," Leo complained. His expression turned dark.

Duan Mu fired a red sword wave energy at Leo from outside the barrier, aiming at his neck.

Seeing the incoming energy sword, Leo raised his hand and received the energy wave with his palm.

BOOM!

The energy sword exploded like a crimson firework. The flame blast kicked the dust and dirt flying, causing black smoke everywhere. The smoke was contained in the dome, blocking the visual from the outside.

One of the assassins mocked Leo, "Soul Formation Cultivator? More like a dead soul. No one survived Lord Duan's Fire Crescent Slash! Once hit, you'll be burned to death!"

The smoke continued to expand, but it was still trapped inside the red dome. However, everybody believed that Leo was done. The other assassins also smirked. They waited for the dust and flame to subside so that they could finish off the cultivator.

WHOOSH

Suddenly, a fist came out of the smoke and flame. It punched through the red dome.

Sounds of shattering glasses echoed, and the red dome collapsed like a broken dome of glasses!

CLANK

The talisman array of Duan Mu was broken. The red dome fragments vanished, and the smoke was blown outside, revealing the silhouette of Leo.

"WHAT?!"

The assassins took several steps back in shock. Even Duan Mu couldn't believe his eyes.

Leo pulled back his punch and walked out of the smoke. He exhaled the dust from his lungs. His green pupils glowed in the dark, staring at the people at the back of his store.

The assassins were speechless as Leo's aura was still the same as ever. It didn't seem like the array had affected him at all.

Duan Mu gritted his teeth. He sent seven more red energy sword slashes at Leo.

The Florida Man positioned himself in front of Cat. Using only his left arm, he swatted and deflected the energy waves back to the caster as if they were Ping-Pong balls.

"!!!"

Duan Mu dodged all the reflected sword waves that came toward him. He descended and landed on the roof of the alchemy workshop.

However, when Duan Mu looked at Leo again, the latter had already vanished from the spot.

Suddenly, the warm hand of Leo seized the back of Duan Mu's nape!

"WHAT?! HOW?!"

Duan Mu couldn't even see Leo's movement. By the time he sensed Leo, he was already caught!

Leo leaned closer to the assassin captain. His dark expression was the same as the characters in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Series.

"Dear customer. The store is closed at night."

"!!!"

Duan Mu struggled, trying to break out of Leo's grip. However, his fingers squeezed tight, causing him to get dizzy as the hand pressed on his sensitive nerves. Moreover, the skin around his neck gradually melted, and he could feel the burning pain.

Leo continued whispering, "Also, you will be fined for harming the store's mascot and forcing me to destroy a door. The fine will be all your lifespan."

.

Name: Duan Mu

Age: 64

Remaining Lifespan: 596 Years, 4 Months, 18 Hours, 8 Minutes

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Duan Mu could see the status window of his lifespan for the first time and last time. The number rapidly decreased. Within seconds, it was down to zero!

All 596 years of Duan Mu's lifespan vanished and added into Leo's life force's pool.

"NOOOO!!"

Duan Mu's body was instantly dried and withered. The assassin's captain's body withered and dissipated into ash.

Leo's green pupils shifted, turning his attention to the other black-robed men.

"RETREAT!!"

The men shouted and kicked the ground, flying away from the store.

Leo deeply exhaled and activated the shop domain system with a thought.

'System! Collect everything!'

DING

<Affirmative. Collecting assailants' lifespan as compensation for damaged properties...>

<You have collected 554 Years, 6 Months, 3 Days, and 7 Minutes.>

<You have collected 541 Years, 8 Months, 10 Days, and 16 Minutes.>

<You have collected...>

<You have collected...>

<You have collected...>

Series of 13 messages reported that Leo had stolen all lifespan of the raiders. Everything was added to Leo's lifespan pool just like when he traded with the other guests.

A moment later, he heard the death throes of the escapees.

"AAAAAHHHH!!"

"IMPOSSIBLE!!"

"NOOOOO!!"

The running assassins saw their status, witnessing how their lifespan was reduced to zero. They turned into ash while they cried in desperation, leaving behind only their clothes and belongings.

CHING-CHING-CHING

Leo heard the casino-jackpot-like sound from the domain system. He rechecked his lifespan status.

<Your remaining lifespan: 8,128 Years, 6 Months, 7 Days.>

Leo almost had a heart attack. These guys were rich!

'Oh, boy. Now, I wish more idiots attacked my store. Actually, please raid my store again! I love it!'

Killing robbers were so profitable that Leo had the urge to join the dark side. Leo chortled like Mr. Smith from The Matrix.

"H-Hiek!!"

While Leo was laughing, someone let out a weird noise. Leo stopped laughing and looked at the source of the voice. Surprisingly, one of the black-robbed men survived the system's power.

Leo frowned. He thought he had ordered the system to kill everybody. However, this guy was still around.

"System, how is this guy still alive?"

DING

<You cannot steal the lifespan of innocent bystanders, guests, or customers.>

"..."

It appeared that one of the black-robed guys didn't participate in the robbery. He might be an accomplice, but he never harmed the store or Cat.

Leo was annoyed. He snorted and stomped toward the last survivor.

"NOO!! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

The guy turned tail and ran. Leo kicked the ground and vanished, leaving behind a deep footprint.

.

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Ouyang Ting was terrified. He thought that the Hound Squad of his clan was an invincible assassin unit that could easily kill any rogue cultivator.

The plan backfired. All assassins and Duan Mu were killed.

He ran away from the store as fast as he could. He didn't care if he would expose his back to the store owner.

POW

Suddenly, Ouyang Ting felt an impact coming from the back of his head. He tumbled and rolled on the ground for 10 meters before his head hit a tree trunk. He got dizzy and his vision blurred.

While his world was spinning, he heard a voice.

"Whoops. I forgot to wear gloves. Oh, well, it was unintentional. I was planning to capture you, but I end up touching you directly. I hope your mutation goes well."

Ouyang Ting didn't understand a thing. He tried to get up, but the concussion and the spinning vision prevented him from maintaining his balance or recovering his vision. He fell to the ground again and lay on his stomach.

A sharp pain suddenly came from the back of his head. He felt like his skin or his blood burst out from the inside. The nauseous feeling made him vomit all wines and water that he had drunk, but all the fluid dirtied his face.

The pain spread to his stomach. He felt like all his bones were shattered, including his spinal cord. His stomach exploded from the inside, and his intestines moved as if he had diarrhea.

After the ultimate pain had hit his bones, it transferred to all nerves in Ouyang Ting''s arms, legs, and manhood. He opened his mouth to scream, but his vocal cord failed to produce any noise.

POP

His lung ruptured. He was no longer capable of holding his breath as his lungs were the same as leaking balloons.

Because of the sudden suffocation, Ouyang Ting forgot about the pain. His tongue stuck out as he tried to breathe, but he couldn't suck in the air. In desperation, he moved his arms and hands to touch his throat.

*WIGGLE*

The arms were no longer human-like. They become a mass of grotesque muscle meat, which rapidly consumed his Qi to grow larger non-stop.

Although Ouyang Ting was a strong cultivator, without air, he lasted for 15 minutes before he stopped moving.

That was the most painful and torturous lesson that he learned – First, a weak-looking tiger is still a tiger, so one must never underestimate his opponent. Second, never pick a fight with a stronger foe with a higher cultivation base. And lastly, one must prepare for the consequences of his actions.

It was too late for Ouyang Ting to apply what he had learned in the future. He paid the price of these lessons with his life.

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"The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed, boy."

Looking at the corpse of Ouyang Ting, Leo grumbled. He didn't feel bad for accidentally killing a robber, but he was disappointed that he didn't get to steal Ouyang Ting's lifespan.

"Oh, well. I could have stolen your lifespan had I worn gloves, but you end up dying because you touched me. Oh, wait. I touched you. Oh, wait. That sounds terribly wrong for many reasons!"

Leo scratched his head while he dragged the swelled and mutated corpse of Ouyang Ting back to the store. He hummed, wondering if he could do a little research on the mutated body's blood and organs to get new alchemy materials.

Upon arriving at the store, Cat wagged its breaches as if it was a dog.

"Meow <3"

Leo laughed, "Yeah, I love you, too. Don't eat this MF yet."

"Meou."

Cat pouted. It climbed back to the roof and picked up the corpses of the five assassins that it had killed. Then, it busied itself, peeling the clothes and eating the human bananas.

But a second later, it spat them out. Then, it complained.

"MEOW!"

Leo looked up and remembered something. He warned Cat.

"By the way, damn cat! You just ate a grain pill. Your stomach will be full for 48 hours. Don't eat anything, or you'll puke!"

"MA-MEOW?!"

"Don't NANI me! I healed your wound!"

Cat jumped around and threw a fit. Fortunately, the store was sturdy enough to withstand Cat's weight.

Leo laughed at his pet and shook his head. He proceeded to drag Ouyang Ting's corpse to the backyard.