Hard to Deceive

In 2007, the college entrance examination ended, Sang Yan ushered in the longest summer vacation in his life. After returning from Beiyu, for a long time, he never heard anyone mention Wen Yifan.

He got good grades in the exam and got the admission letter from the top universities in China.

His parents were happy and proud, and relatives pulled him out to praise him from time to time, and everything around him was drowned in joy.

Freed from the stress of learning, Sang Yan's time has become ample, and his life is also rich and fulfilling.

Sang Yan didn't mention the relationship with Wen Yifan to anyone. He thought he could see the light, but he didn't end up in a disease. He went out to play ball and games with his friends as usual, took care of his younger sister impatiently under the lessons of his parents, and stayed up all night to sleep until the day.

Live your life as usual.

This thing seems to be extremely simple.

Leaving that city, as long as he doesn't take the initiative to inquire, it is equivalent to cutting off the intersection between the two. He doesn't need to do it deliberately, he can completely escape from her world.

Effortlessly.

Sang Yan never deliberately recalled Wen Yifan as a person.

He felt that this was just a good luck but not a good thing.

With good luck, I met someone I like.

Bad luck, she doesn't like me.

Very ordinary.

Usually, it made him feel like one more sentence, one second more sad, and one more thought of her.

All seem extremely hypocritical.

...

I think of Wen Yifan again, it was the day when he went to Nanwu University to report.

Sang Yan met Duan Jiaxu from the same dormitory and learned that he was not a native of Nanwu, but came from Yihe. Hearing this, he almost blurted out: "How is Yihe?"

"Very good, you can go to play when you have time." Duan Jiaxu laughed, "It's just that the climate is quite different from here, so I am a little uncomfortable when I come to Nanwu.

At that time, the other two in the dormitory were calling home and the other was taking a shower.

The two boys leaned on the railing of the balcony, blowing the summer evening wind. Hearing this, Sang Yan lowered his eyes and took out the cigarette case from his pocket, bit a cigarette in his mouth, and said nothing.

He silently handed the cigarette case to Duan Xu.

Duan Jiaxu took it, but only played with it in his hands, without any unnecessary movement.

Sang Yan took out the lighter and watched the flame lick the cigarette butt, emitting a scarlet light. He breathed out the smoke ring, looking a little lost, and inexplicably thought of Wen Yifan who seemed to be a person who didn't like smoking.

Every time someone smoked in the street, she would grab his arm and walk past quickly.

Sang Yan can't remember when he started smoking.

Since when did she become willing to become the kind of person she doesn't like.

"What's the matter?" Duan Jiaxu asked casually when he saw that he hadn't spoken slowly, "Did you have a friend who went there for the exam?"

"No," Sang Yan tilted his head, his expression idle, "I wanted to report."

"Why didn't that report?"

On a quiet night, the wind swept through the fragrance of sweet-scented osmanthus, bringing the heat to the face.

Sang Yan was wearing a black T-shirt, her eyes looked like lacquer, her elbows on the railing, listening to the laughter that came from outside. He was silent, did not answer, and finished smoking the cigarette in his hand.

I do not know how long it has been.

When Duan Jiaxu thought he would not answer.

Sang Yan suddenly laughed lightly, and said calmly, "It's too late to change her wish."

The days went on step by step.

Sang Yan ended his military training, was tanned, and started a three-point-one-line life in college. During this period, he was pursued and confessed by many girls, but he had no thoughts on this aspect.

I only feel troublesome and tired, and in the end I don't even bother to refuse, and I don't give people a chance to get close.

Lived extremely pure and undesirable.

Sang Yan didn't think he was waiting for anyone deliberately.

He just didn't want to compromise.

He would never make a decision. He felt that he was getting old, or he felt that he met a suitable time, so he rashly decided to find someone to have a romantic relationship.

He never felt that one must have a partner in one's life.

If you are lucky enough to meet it, of course it's good.

But if not met.

This life is just like that, and it's no big deal.

In the early morning of the day of Frostfall, Sang Yan inexplicably dreamed of Wen Yifan, who was not very popular in the class at the time when high school first started. The "warm vase" that was talked about behind the scenes and still had a good temper.

When he woke up, he wrinkled his eyes and looked at the time.

It was just after ten o'clock in the morning.

It's the 24th.

Sang Yan sat on the bed and woke up for a while. Perhaps it was the fermenting of the night's emotions. At that moment, he could not control his emotions and impulses. He took the phone, got off the bed, and walked to the balcony.

He typed Wen Yifan's number on the dial key familiarly.

Countless thoughts flashed in Sang Yan's mind just before the call.

How would she react to hearing her own voice.

She must have fallen asleep at this point, will she be angry when she is awakened?

Will you see that he just didn't answer.

He said something like that, is it inappropriate to make this call again?

But he wanted to know if she could adapt to a new environment.

Will you be bullied.

But these thoughts stopped at the mechanical female voice on the other end of the phone.

"Sorry, the number you dialed is empty."

That was the first time, Sang Yan felt it clearly.

He turned out to be true, completely abandoned by Wen Yifan.

As if the accumulated emotions erupted in an instant, Sang Yan lowered his head embarrassedly, his Adam's apple sliding up and down. He put the phone down from his ear and dialed again, listening to the other end saying the same thing over and over again.

He continued to repeat until he hung up automatically.

Repeated countless times stubbornly.

At night so quiet that no one could be heard, the boy leaned against the railing and continued to do the same but meaningless things. He didn't slowly put down the phone until the phone was turned off without power and stayed alone on the balcony for a long time.

Seeing the sky gradually light up, he returned to the dormitory.

Sang Yan always seemed to have something to say.

For example, the time I met her in Beiyu.

He thought for a long time and practiced many times before he could tell her.

And this time.

The phrase happy birthday seems to be the same.

Probably will become.

I can't tell her anything in this life.

During the winter vacation of the freshman year, Sang Yan was dragged by Su Haoan to have a meal with his high school classmates. It was also that time, the first time he heard Wen Yifan's news from Zhong Siqiao after half a year.

At that time, Sang Yan felt that the box was too stuffy and went out to smoke in the corridor.

Not long after, Zhong Siqiao also came out to answer the phone. Because of the dim light, she did not notice Sang Yan on the other side: "You really won't come back during the winter vacation? I still think about you coming to Nanwu or I go to Beiyu to play with you for a few days.

Sang Yan paused when he heard this.

Zhong Siqiao: "Why don't you come back? Have you fallen in love?"

Sang Yan looked over.

"Why don't you come back? How miserable you are over there alone..." Zhong Siqiao said, "Okay, then you should pay attention to it yourself. By the way, I downloaded the online game you told me before. Go back to play tonight. I forgot which district you said it was, district 2?"

"Then I remembered correctly. But why did you start playing the game, I was quite surprised." Zhong Siqiao said, "What is your game name, I will give you a sister name!"

"Mild boiling water?" Zhong Siqiao laughed for a long time, "What's your name? Okay, then I will make a fierce ice water."

...

Later, Sang Yan learned the name of the online game Zhong Siqiao played from Su Haoan. One night before New Year's Eve, he was lying on the bed and suddenly got up and turned on the computer.

Staring at the screen for a while, he opened the web page and downloaded the online game.

Sang Yan subconsciously wanted to register a male account. When he thought of Wen Yifan, he hesitated and changed his mouse to a registered female account. He stared at the screen and paused for a few seconds on the interface for entering the game ID.

Then, he tapped two words slowly.

-Defeated.

He gave up.

He couldn't let it go.

Sang Yan played for a few days until he reached a level similar to Wen Yifan, when he entered the five words "gentle boiling water" in the window for adding friends.

This online game can add friends randomly, and one of the level tasks is to add 50 friends.

It didn't take long for Wen Yifan to agree.

Through game positioning, Sang Yan found her position. He controlled the characters in the game and walked to her side. Seeing her beating there alone, he did the same thing.

After a while, Sang Yan stopped and started typing.

[Failure]: Form a team?

At the same time, the characters controlled by Wen Yifan stopped. Not long after, a small bubble popped out of her head.

[Mild boiling water]: Good.

At that moment, Sang Yan completely confessed his life, feeling extremely relaxed after half a year. He pulled his lower lip and remembered what he said when the two met for the last time.

――"I will not pester you again."

It's like a promise.

Just like the phrase he said to her before, "I will always be with you."

Since he promised her so, he must do it.

But he can't do it.

I can only change my identity and return to her side.

Wen Yifan doesn't go online very often, the most frequent is in the semester when he was younger. During this period of time, the two gradually became familiar with each other, and occasionally said a few things in three dimensions.

He knew that her most frequent place in school was the library.

Know that she works part-time in a milk tea shop off campus.

Knowing that she has never had a boyfriend.

...

Sang Yan was cautious and unobtrusive, inquiring about her life in this way.

After that, maybe it was busy because of real things.

The number of times Wen Yifan logged into the game gradually decreased. This cycle gradually elongates, from a few days to a week, and then to several weeks and months. But in the past four years, she has not completely interrupted this game.

The two talked about trivial matters.

[Mild boiling water]: Your name is pretty unlucky.

[Mild boiling water]: Failure and surrender?

[Gentle boiling water]: No, do you read xiang or jiang?

[Failure]: Jiang.

[Mild boiling water]: Then you made a mistake? Shouldn't it be a will?

[Failure]: Will be registered.

[Mild boiling water]: I have been too busy with my studies recently, and I may not be good at playing.

[Failure]: Yes.

[Mild boiling water]: It feels like we have been teaming up together. Although I don't know if you are waiting, I am still afraid that you will wait for me sometimes. So let me tell you.

[Failure]: Waiting.

[Failure]: But I am preparing for an internship, and I rarely log in.

[Failure]: Contact again when you have time.

The only way for the two of them to communicate was thus reduced.

Sang Yan would go to Yihe every once in a while, and occasionally did not touch it a few times, but most of the time she could see her recent situation. Seeing that she was thinner again, made a new friend next to her, and her hair was cut short, she seemed to be more cheerful.

After that, the WeChat communication software went online.

One night, Sang Yan saw a red dot in the "New Friends" column. He clicked and saw that the other party's name only had one "Wen", and the WeChat ID was wenyifan1024.

――Add via mobile phone address book.

Sang Yan stared for a few seconds, then clicked to pass.

There was no initiative to say anything to him.

It seems that adding him to this matter is just a move under a mistake.

Some time passed.

Sang Yan saw her post the first circle of friends. The picture is of a large stack of newspapers on a desk, and the copy she attached is: [After reading the newspaper for a week, I will start memorizing it if I have nothing to do tomorrow. 】

Zhong Siqiao laughed at the bottom: [Hahahahahaha it's good to find an internship! 】

Following the handwriting on the picture, Sang Yan recognized that it was Yihe Daily.

Going to Yihe again, when passing a newsstand, Sang Yan paused and walked over. He took out a few hundred sheets from the wallet, handed them to the aunt at the newsstand, and said softly: "Auntie, the daily Yihe Daily, can you keep a copy for me?"

"Huh? Keep a copy?"

"Well, I will get it once every three months."

...

On the day of Wen Yifan's graduation ceremony, Sang Yan entered the auditorium and sat in the back row watching her come up on stage to receive the graduation certificate. He watched after the graduation ceremony was over, she was dragged out by a friend to take pictures.

In his eyes, she stood in the crowd, always the most conspicuous one.

It will always be the existence he can see at first sight.

At a certain moment, Sang Yan took out his mobile phone from his pocket. He stared at Wen Yifan in the distance, she was trapped in a sea of ​​people, as if she was separated from him by a barrier.

So many times.

She never discovered his existence once.

From beginning to end.

She never seemed to see him.

Sang Yan was dressed in a formal white shirt and suit pants, although he was not comfortable with such a dress. He raised his phone, and after four years, he called out her name in front of her: "Wen Yifan."

Following the voice, Wen Yifan looked over blankly.

That was the first time Sang Yan appeared in front of her without a mask and hat.

He is extremely contradictory.

Longing to be discovered by her, but not wanting to be discovered by her.

At the moment when Wen Yifan's sight completely fell on his face.

Sang Yan still turned his head and walked in another direction. He looked down at Wen Yifan on the phone screen, with a slight smile on his face, as if he was still sinking in the joy of graduation.

As it should be.

These are the days that make her happy.

People who are not suitable to meet and should not meet.

He bent his lower lip, step by step away from the excitement.

Like any time before.

He came alone, and left alone.

It's like repeating back and forth, a lonely and endless journey.

After graduating, Sang Yan and a few friends jointly opened a bar. He stayed in the company where he was intern in his senior year, and his work was busy, and the number of trips to Yihe also decreased.

Through Wen Yifan’s circle of friends, Sang Yan knew that she had changed her job and went to the news section of Yihe Radio and Television.

He didn't know the rest.

When he is free, Sang Yan will log in to that online game.

After several years, this online game has gradually declined, the number of players is not as good as before, and the friends list is all gray. Walking along the map, you can only occasionally see a few level-brushing studios.

One night in the summer of 2013.

Sang Yan habitually boarded the game before going to bed, but this time unexpectedly saw Wen Yifan, who had not logged in for more than a year. He watched for several seconds before he was sure he had admitted his mistake, and flew directly to her.

[Failure]: Have your account stolen?

[Mild boiling water]:...... Are you still playing?

[Gentle boiling water]: I cleaned the computer software, and suddenly discovered that I hadn't uninstalled the game yet, so I went to look at it.

[Failure]: Yes.

[Failure]: How are you doing?

Quiet for a while.

[Mild boiling water]: Not so good.

[Mild boiling water]: There is no happiness in life, but it can only be so.

Sang Yan was taken aback.

That was the first time she showed the negative energy of life in front of herself.

A few more nonsense.

[Mild boiling water]: I have something to do, let's get down first.

After that, Wen Yifan went offline.

Sang Yan stared at the screen. After a long time, he booked a ticket to Yihe at noon the next day.

It's already night to Yihe.

Sang Yan got in a taxi and went to the door of Yihe Radio and Television. Before getting off the car, he saw Wen Yifan walking out of it. She carried a bag and walked forward slowly, her expression a little empty.

He got out of the car and followed her in silence.

Wen Yifan walked straight ahead, crossed a street, and turned. When passing by a cake shop, she stopped outside the door for three seconds, staring at the strawberry cake in the glass window.

As if the price was too expensive, she quickly retracted her attention and moved on.

Wen Yifan sat down on the bench by the street and stared at the floor blankly.

Did not cry, did not play with mobile phones, did not make calls.

Did not do anything.

I don't know what happened.

Sang Yan stood at the corner and stared at her for a long time. His eyelashes moved slightly, he turned his head into the cake shop and bought the strawberry cake. He paid, but the cake box packed in the hands of the clerk didn't work out.

He pointed out and asked: "Can you help me give this cake to the woman sitting on the bench?"

Clerk: "Huh?"

"Just say that this is a new product in your store." Sang Yan thought for a bad reason, "Let her post it in the Moments, and you can give her a free copy."

...

Three months after returning to Nanwu, Sang Yan could think of Wen Yifan sitting alone on the bench in silence every day. At a certain moment, he finally thought about it, got up and turned on the computer and started writing his resignation.

If she has a bad time.

He doesn't seem to have anything to continue to struggle with.

Sang Yan remembered the sentence he hadn't had time to send out in the game.

――Do you want to develop in another place?

But after he sent it successfully, she was offline.

Since then, I haven't logged in again.

She still did not receive her words.

But this seems to be an easy thing to solve.

If you don't come.

Then I will go to see you.

On the night of the official resignation, Sang Yan was called by Su Haoan to "work overtime" to drink. As soon as he entered the door, he immediately saw Wen Yifan sitting on one of the scattered platforms.

She was wearing a light-colored sweater, her complexion was as white as paper, but her lips were red. She smiled and chatted with Zhong Siqiao who was opposite.

As every moment before.

At that moment, Sang Yan was in a trance.

It seems to have entered a fantasy world.

Sang Yan didn't go directly to the second floor as before, but walked to the bar counter and talked to He Mingbo. He Mingbo was a little puzzled, and asked, "Brother, why aren't you going up?"

He absently responded, "Ah, wait a minute."

He Mingbo: "Then I will make you a glass of wine?"

"No need to."

The two chatted a few words at random.

At this moment, Wen Yifan's hair made a huge noise. He looked around and saw that the wine in Yu Zhuo's hand was overturned, and all of it poured on her body, and apologized with a pale face.

She was obviously frozen by the wine and stood up immediately.

After brief negotiations, Wen Yifan seemed to plan to go to the bathroom. She raised her eyes and met his gaze. She didn't seem to recognize it, and she seemed to have noticed his existence a long time ago, her eyes were very calm. He quickly looked away.

He Mingbo next door was talking: "Hey, this looks pretty easy to talk, I will let Yu Zhuo handle it--"

Sang Yan stood up straight, looked at Wen Yifan's back, and interrupted him.

"I'll go."

really.

He was still unbearable, this feeling of being isolated from the world by her.

He wants to see her, then he should see her.

Since I can't fall in love with anyone again.

Then be exhausted in this life.

To love that, to die for a lifetime, still want to have someone.

―End of Extraordinary ―