He and It

At the end of the story, it's inevitable to feel a bit embarrassed. Tianyuan looked at Gu Xingqiao, his expression showed no sadness or joy, he just nodded seriously: I will consider it.

Consider it, but don’t change it.

After living with him for so long, Gu Xingqiao could naturally understand the meaning behind his words.

On the evening of the seventh day after the conversation, new paintings were delivered to Gu Xingqiao.

Gu Xingqiao was lying on the bed, holding a restless shaggy dog ​​head in his arms. He sighed and hesitated for a long time between the two options of looking at paintings and wetting the teething edamame with saliva. Finally, he let go of the playful dog by the light of the night light. , holding the painting in front of his eyes.

He was silent for a moment.

It is an essay composed of pure lines, almost abstract in style. Looking closer, Tianyuan outlines his face with miscellaneous and disorganized lines, but if you zoom out slightly, you can see the mystery behind it.

Gu Xingqiao discovered that there were two bodies embracing each other hidden in the corners of the eyes and eyebrows. Soft and quiet, one opened his eyes and the other pressed his lips to his forehead.

It's like the wet moss marks with coincident shapes that spread on the ceiling on a rainy day. In reality, they are intertwined, but in imagination, they also love each other.

At night, Gu Xingqiao held his warm dog in his arms and stared at the zenith in silence for half the night.

The next day, he got up early and took Maodou for a walk in the small garden. Tianyuan was standing at the end of the corridor, getting up earlier than him, or in other words, he didn't need to sleep at all.

As soon as Gu Xingqiao stopped, Maodou was already humming excitedly and running wildly under another keeper, wagging his tail and spinning in circles.

Tianyuan lowered his head, but he was willing to bend down and condescend to pat the dog's head twice.

Then, he raised his head and looked at Gu Xingqiao. That gaze was completely silent, as rational as a star's path that remained unchanged for thousands of years.

Tianyuan whispered: Good morning.

Gu Xingqiao leaned back unconsciously.

Tianyuan's words and deeds have never changed. He used solemn order to form a shell of constant indifference, but those endless layers of paintings, overflowing with thick and hot affection, entangled Gu Xingqiao like a net, so that he felt A suffocating feeling.

At this moment, what a thrilling dream, a screaming undercurrent - with just one glance, he had already glimpsed the deadly magma surging under the solid ice.

Gu Xingqiao therefore gave way. He had to get out of the way.

·

Fortunately, since that day, Tianyuan finally listened to his suggestion and stopped sending him paintings.

Before Gu Xingqiao could completely relax, a brand new letter arrived. It was not a painting, but a poem.

Gu Xingqiao: ...

【You are ice, you are fire,

Your touch burns my hand like snow,

You are like fire, you are cold light,

You are the purple of amaryllis,

You are the silver of magnolia under the touch of moonlight.

When I'm with you,

My heart is a frozen pond,

Glittering under the flickering torches. 】

If the previous gift painting was somewhat concealed, at this moment, it is a blatant love poem.

When he was young, Gu Xingqiao suffered a lot, not only physical suffering, but also mental suffering. Being despised, killed, trampled on... these are all common experiences. One of the few consolations, probably because of his extraordinary qualifications, Gu Xingqiao was able to stand out from many people of the same age and was escorted to a school in the central star of the empire.

He still remembers clearly the first cultural class at the military academy. The teacher quoted from classics, talking about real life from famous works. He talked about respect, humanity, how he hoped his students would care for themselves in the future, and also give back to those who love them. People... Gu Xingqiao sat in the corner of the last row, just staring at the textbook in silence. After returning to the dormitory, he lay on the bed, clenching his teeth tightly, and developed a high fever that night. For three days in a row, he didn't say a word or a sentence.

A person whose limbs are broken right after birth will definitely go crazy even if he just sees a healthy person showing off his intact and strong body.

Therefore, there is something that Gu Xingqiao has never told Tianyuan, and it is very likely that he will not tell it in the future:

When he heard Tian Yuan's confession to him, his first feeling was not surprise, embarrassment, embarrassment, shyness... nothing but fear.

All the love he gave in the first half of his life basically didn't get much positive return. He loved Sissel like a close friend and comrade, and loved Bacchus and its people like a son and compatriot. What kind of end did he get in the end?

Gu Xingqiao finally realized that once a person sincerely gives his love, there will no longer be an equal personality. Love is a fierce crown. Whoever you give it to, you are crowning him and making him your master and king. From then on, if he wants you to live, you will be willing to die for him; and if he wants you to die, you will survive. Every day is painful.

He stared at the letter. Oddly enough, the poem was written by Amy Lowell, a female poet he liked very much. Compared to the number of writers and poets on the planet of Ganges, she is not the most famous, nor is she the most special. However, her poems were fortunately preserved thousands of years later, and were collected into electronic data and edited by Gu Xingqiao on the terminal. The lucky land was excavated.

Could it be a coincidence that he happened to find the works of an unpopular poet that he liked among the vast sea of ​​poems?

Gu Xingqiao stared for a long time, then resolutely crumpled the letter into a ball, threw it into the trash can, stood up, went out, and closed the door.

I don't want to rule anyone with this terrifying power, and I won't let anyone rule me.

About a quarter of an hour later, Gu Xingqiao opened the door again and came in.

He expressionlessly picked up the paper ball in the trash can, unfolded it into a crumpled piece of torn paper, threw it into the drawer without looking at it, and then went out and closed the door.

·

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