I can summon outrageous partners

Chapter 445 444. The most devastating episode

(This chapter is very original.)

"This...isn't necessary?" Lin Li's mouth twitched slightly.

He really wanted to ask the system if this bond could be taken back, why not not want it anymore?

At this moment, an unusual sound came from the end of the cave:

"Dad! Your butt is touching my face. Can you crawl faster!?" A hoarse boy asked depressedly. Lin Li could tell it was Chris, the eldest son.

"Pfft——~" He was first responded to by a loud, long fart sound, and then by the classic hey hee laughter of a slender man. Lin Li could already picture Peter's head shaking up and down.

"Dad! I'm going to suffocate!" Chris broke through.

"It stinks! It's so cramped here, and why are we here?" Meg, the eldest daughter, complained dissatisfiedly, "I'm already ready to go on a date with Mike. God, I can't even imagine today." How wonderful it should be for me tonight.”

"Although I really don't want to hurt you, Meg, I heard Mr. Herbert say to me a few days ago that Mike doesn't seem to like girls. The purpose of getting close to you is to get close to Chris. Herbert specifically told me that he must Let me tell you, don’t let you be deceived by her.

But I forgot to tell you, after all, Mike will definitely not... hurt you, he... is not interested in you. Louise said tactfully at this time.

Herbert is a neighbor of Peter's family on the same street. He is an old gay man who has a copper-smelting addiction. His favorite and the one he tries his best to get is Chris.

Judging from this basic condition, he probably regarded Mike as a love rival, so he specifically reminded Louise that he didn't want Mike's 'plot' to succeed.

"Oh! No!" Upon hearing Louise's words, Meg and Chris made sharp cracks at the same time - but the emotions may be slightly different.

"Wait!" Peter's voice was suddenly filled with vigilance, "It smells strange!"

"What is it? Dad?" Everyone was alert and began to sniff.

"That's what I farted just now, hehehehehe-" Pete laughed mischievously again.

"dad!"

"I can't stand it anymore. It's too crowded here. I hate crowded places. Let's get out of here!" Meg broke through.

"Actually, I think this place is pretty good. Although it's very crowded and narrow, it reminds me of Louise when I was young. She was also so crowded and narrow at that time, which makes me want to stop." Pete said while hehehehe, and then The tone was a bit regretful and complaining:

"Now Louise is like a door that cannot be closed. She is not even as attractive to me as a sandwich with an opening in the middle."

"Peter! Don't say such things in front of the children! And I didn't expect that you actually miss me so much in your heart!" Louise said sadly and angrily.

"Wait! Wait!" Louise suddenly shouted.

"Mom, what's wrong?" Chris and Meg asked concernedly.

"No wonder the sandwich in the morning had a strange taste. I didn't add yogurt! You all ate it!" Louise replied.

silence.

"vomit -" the sound of vomiting came one after another.

"Fortunately, I'm eating dog food." Brian said in a deep male voice, and then swallowed a mouthful of saliva.

——Brian also had nausea settings in his birth home, such as having an appetite for excrement from his upper and lower mouth.

"Fortunately, I am eating milk powder." A voice that didn't sound like a one-year-old boy at all - Dumpling Head said.

"But damn Peter! I don't know how blessed I am! Louise is obviously a very touching woman!" Brian said angrily, "Every time I see her, I can't help but curl up-- Get my tail up, Louise is so sexy.”

——Brian is very sexually interested in Louise, even though he is the dog and she is the mistress.

But that didn't stop Brian from being perverted.

"You'd better just raise your tail, Brian, I'm warning you, I regard you as my brother, you'd better not try to be my father." Dumpling Head said coldly.

"Oh, come on, Stewie, don't you think it's cool to have a doggy stepdad?"

"No, not at all. I'm warning you again, Brian, don't do this, otherwise you will definitely regret it. I will go to the bar to find more than twenty of your ex-girlfriends, tell them about this, and also There’s the matter of you deliberately piercing a condom to test whether someone can get pregnant with your child.”

Lin Li in the cave: "..."

He was silent, and silence became his main color.

In one minute of conversation, his three views have collapsed and exploded many times, and the amount of information was too large.

Lin Li felt that his three views were being pressed to the ground and rubbed repeatedly, almost turning the ground into a mirror. If nothing else, even if Pol Pot saw these guys, he would have to comment: You are a bit too extreme.

"Oh, see what I found!" Peter's head was the first to pop out of the cave. His typical egg-shaped chin made Lin Li, who had mastered the chariot tackle, subconsciously want to kick it twice.

The moment Peter saw Lin Li, he shouted in surprise: "An Asian!"

"No, my eyes are so big and I'm so tall. I don't think I'm Asian. Asians should wear hats and rags and herd cows."

But then he seemed a little disappointed: "Oh - it's the Asians who got here first again. Asians are always like this. Every time I want to take first place, it doesn't work. I hate it."

Peter's words were full of blatant local discrimination, but Lin Li didn't have any trouble - because he knew very well that Peter's dog would never spit out ivory from its mouth.

Pete discriminates against everyone but himself.

Outside of yourself, everything is garbage.

"Hey, hey, why aren't you talking? Are you a dummy? An inflatable doll?" Seeing that Lin Li didn't respond to him, Peter stepped forward and asked curiously, reaching out to pinch Lin Li's butt.

"My name is Lin Li." Lin Li took a step back to avoid Peter's hand and simply introduced himself.

Lin Li didn't take action - not because he was so kind, but mainly because he was afraid that Pete would be happy.

Pete is a guy who will take the initiative to put on the ball and adjust his posture after being whipped.

Then Louise, Chris and others walked out of the cave one after another and came to Lin Li, followed closely by Dumpling Head and Brian.

"Oh, it's a handsome guy! Hello, my name is Meg. I'm lost here. Can you be the hero in my life and save me?" Meg asked starry-eyed.

"No, no." Lin Li refused decisively - Meg was so ugly and earthy that she would be ostracized and disgusted wherever she was. Now that Lin Li saw the real person, he couldn't say that he lived up to his name. He could only say Worse than that.

Meg: "Why?"

"Well... I like Chris." Lin Li thought for a while and said.

Meg: "..."

Chris: "?"

Like me again?

After Meg went to the corner to shut herself up, and Chris went to the corner shivering with his butt covered, Dumpling Head took the initiative to step forward, stretched out his hand and shook Lin Li's trouser legs, then straightened the corners of his overalls and looked up in a very gentlemanly manner. The head said:

"Hello, Lin Li, I'm here to help you. These are my family members. I didn't want to take them with me. It was an accident. When I jumped here, I accidentally chose the target from myself. It became the whole town of Round Clam.”

"Round Clam Town? Isn't your family the only one here? Joe and Quagmire are here too? Are there so many people in this cave?" Lin Li asked in surprise, looking into the depths of the cave. Who is this? A cave from another dimension, right?

The two are neighbors, Joe is a disabled policeman, and Q, this person, can be understood as the most out-of-the-world figure in the family where he was born. Let’s put it this way, he and his father once respected each other as if they were guests (the idiom is correct).

"Oh, don't worry, because the jump machine is overloaded, I left them halfway. They may be dead or mutated now, it's not important." Dumpling Head said calmly, and then looked towards Peter and others sighed:

"I wanted to throw them away too, but unfortunately Brian stopped them. It's really embarrassing for me to bring them here."

Lin Li: "..."

He knew how to be born at a young age. He was worthy of being Peter's child. He really had a promising future. Lin Li silently gave him a thumbs up.

"Hello, Lin Li, Stewie seems to like you very much." Louise, the only normal person, looked at Stewie who wanted Lin Li to hug her and said with a smile.

——In Family Guy, only Brian can understand what Dumpling Head says, and anything Dumpling Head does will be considered normal to them.

For example, a time machine, a machine that occupies about six or seven cubic meters, appeared majestically in the baby's room, but no one in the family found it strange.

"Stewie, you can't hold a grudge against Pete just because he once stole your milk powder. And didn't Pete know that he was wrong and gave you a can?" Brian heard his name and turned to persuade Dumpling. I hope he will become a kind child.

"He gave it back to me."

"But what he gave me back was not milk powder, but white powder stolen from the arms of homeless people on the street." Dumpling Head responded calmly, "I went to hell immediately after eating, and it was Bart who saved me. "

The Bart mentioned by Dumpling Head should be a character from "The Simpsons", which has been linked to "Family Guy". As for why there is Bart in hell, there is a joke like this: Satan is tattooed on the devil's back, and Bart is tattooed on Satan's back.

Lin Li, Brian: "..."

Three Views! My three views!

"Exile Peter when you go home." Brian changed his mind, "Our family needs to change to a male master. No, a male master can also be a dog."

"Okay, okay," Lin Li hid his face and pinched his eyebrows with a headache: "Stop talking about the beastly things of your beastly family. If I continue to listen to you, I will become corrupted, and our time is somewhat urgent.

Stewie, the purpose of calling you here is that I need you to make a machine that can teleport to Australia. Is there any problem? "

"Theoretically, there is no problem." Dumpling Head nodded, "This is not such a difficult technology. I actually don't understand why you adults can't even invent this after you have lived for so long."

Lin Li: "..."

"My lord's affairs are not important. Why is it just 'in theory'? In practice, what's the problem?" Lin Li immediately grasped the hidden meaning of these words.

"You have an old Chinese saying that young women don't like to blow the trumpet for people who don't have rice..." Dumpling Head frowned and thought for a while.

"It's hard for a clever woman to make a meal without rice, which is completely different from what you said." Lin Li's fist hardened and he emphasized.

"It's not important. What I mean is that if you want me to make a jump machine, you have to give me tools and materials. Lin Li, your current needs are no different from asking me to make nuclear fusion with my hands. You are making things difficult for me." A child over 10 years old." Dumpling Head said matter-of-factly.

"What materials do you need?" Lin Li asked, not finding it difficult. After all, he had a prop called [Toolbox for Making Mechanical Zombies], which contained all kinds of hardware tools, which should be able to meet the needs of Dumpling Head.

You can now make mechanical zombies.

"Pacifiers, cribs, brand new diapers, bear dolls, cans, egg shells, sparrows outside the window..." Dumpling Head said while picking his fingers.

Lin Li's hand that was about to reveal the props froze. He was a little dumbfounded - who evil genius inventor wants these raw materials? !

"Are you sure this is the material needed to make a teleportation machine, and not something you prepared just to sleep?" Lin Li asked.

"When I invented the machine in my bedroom, I used these materials." Dumpling Tou said in a more matter-of-fact tone.

The corner of Lin Li's mouth twitched slightly, which was difficult to evaluate: "If you use these time machines, is it different from using your hands to create nuclear fusion?"

Now that the United States is in ruins, where can I find things like cribs?

Lin Li finally materialized the huge hardware toolbox, pencils and compasses and other teaching aids, and asked tentatively: "Stewie, I can only provide these, are these okay?"

"Although it's not as good as diapers, it's just okay. It should be able to be used." Dumpling Head looked at the tools in front of him, frowned and nodded.

Lin Li breathed a sigh of relief, as long as it works.

"Time is very urgent. How long will it take for you to finish the production Stewie? Fifty minutes is the time limit. If you need more time, we may need other plans." There are only fifty minutes left for the isolation induction. After fifty minutes pass, the Holy Lord will definitely come here.

If the machine is not built and discovered by then, everything will be in vain, so Lin Li asked this question.

If the dumpling head takes more than fifty minutes to make, Lin Li will choose to leave the cave alone later and try to come back after the machine has finished making it.

After all, the Holy Master does not know or sense the existence of Dumpling Head.

"Oh, Brian, my God, I found that hammering nails with a hammer is much faster than smashing nails with fresh skulls that appeared out of nowhere in the basement! This is really amazing!" Dumpling Head was happily sharing with Brian. After hearing this, Lin Li said confidently: "It will be quick. Don't worry, fifty minutes is definitely enough. It will even be much faster than you think."

"Then I'm relieved." Lin Li nodded when he heard this, and then said again: "Stewie, if you can come up with any other inventions, just make them as much as possible. I need them all. The more powerful the better. "

"no problem!"

"Thank you for helping me take care of my children, Lin Li. Stewie has liked building blocks since he was a child." Looking at Lin Li and Dumpling Head getting along, Louise felt as if her heart was melting.

Lin Li took a look.

Stewie is wearing an electrician's helmet, holding a drill, and sparks are flying.

Not sure, take another look:

The dumpling head was holding a big hammer and pounding on the iron plate.

eighty! eighty!

This is a little different from the warm and beautiful lake of building blocks, right?

The mother filter is too serious.

"Mom, I'm a little hungry. I just vomited everything in my stomach because of my father. Have you brought anything to eat?" Next to him, Chris, who had been silent because he was afraid of Lin Li, touched himself and cooed just now. With a growling stomach, he looked at Louise and whispered.

"Sorry, kid, I didn't bring it with me." Louise said apologetically.

Lin Li was about to present a few peas to Chris when Peter's voice came from the cave door: "Ha-ha-, as the head of the family, this is the time for me to stand up.

I have long thought that we have to survive in the wilderness here, so you see, this is the fish I just caught. With me here, everyone's survival is not a problem. "

Lin Li turned his head and saw Peter sitting at the door. His clothes were torn and there were some bloodstains on his body. He was proudly showing his hands - there were two huge sea fish.

"Oh, Pete, you are so great!" Louise was moved when she heard this and stepped forward to hug the somewhat embarrassed Pete, with tears in her eyes, "How did you catch it? We don't even have bait, ah, Pete , you are still injured, there is blood here!"

"Don't worry, I'm not injured, this is not my blood." Peter said with great confidence.

"It scared me to death. It turned out to be a fish. Just hope you're okay, Peter." Louise let out a long sigh of relief.

"It's not from a fish either." Peter shook his head.

"Huh?" Louise was a little confused when she heard this, "It's not yours, nor the fish's, but whose is it?"

"It's Meg's," said Pete.

The cave is silent.

Feeling that everyone didn’t quite understand, the considerate Pete explained:

"I used her to make a nest."

Please note that the content of this chapter is not exaggerated.

I even deliberately restrained myself when writing. Readers who have watched the original animation will find that this is true.

Including using his daughter to make a nest, "fathering" his son, and blooming his wife's yellow flowers, etc., it is really a trivial matter for Peter, who is born this old.

As someone who has watched hundreds of episodes of Birth House, I am already a pure Birth nerd.