Invade the World

  I don't know when, my mother has become different from before.

   When Zhu Qingyue looked at her, she often couldn't see her eyes; when Zhu Qingyue wanted to talk to her, she often got no response.

  Mom is not as easily frowning as before. She is in a good mood every day and always smiles; but for some reason, Zhu Qingyue always feels that the relationship between the two has become more distant.

   From a certain day, my mother always hummed the same little tune.

   When she asked what it was, Mom smiled and replied:

   "That's the lullaby you heard when you were a kid."

  …

   From a certain day, my mother would cook the same dishes every day.

   "There is fried chicken today, and I also bought small cakes on the way and put them in the bag over there."

   "Today we have tomato and egg noodles."

   Mom would never listen to her when she mustered up the courage to say "no" and wanted to tell her that I was tired of these things.

  …

   Since one day, my mother has been sitting on the sofa at home watching TV all day. No matter day or night, she always watches the same program.

   Listening to the sound, it is like a singing and dancing party. She could vaguely hear the voices of the hostess and hostess talking, and the cheers and applause of the audience in the background, but she had never seen what was shown on the TV.

  The screen of the TV is sometimes dark and sometimes bright, but whether it is bright or dark, my mother can watch it with relish, which makes it difficult for her to understand.

  …

  One day, my father disappeared.

   On the day he left, Zhu Qingyue heard that he was on a business trip elsewhere, but after that, his father never called back and lost the news.

   And Mom didn't care about it, she never mentioned Dad again, as if he never showed up in this family.

  …

   From a certain day, she did not go to school again.

  Because, my mother is sick.

"so tired…"

   As soon as Xiao Qingyue returned to the room, she fell asleep on the bed, the soft quilt wrapped her small body, she was too tired to move.

  Mother's illness came suddenly. The day before was fine, but the next day I suddenly fell down. The little girl couldn't take her mother to see a doctor by herself, and her father was not at home, so she could only take care of her.

  Zhu Qingyue felt that as long as her mother had a good rest for a while, she could go to the hospital by herself, or call the doctor. Unexpectedly, after several days, my mother still lay in bed and couldn't get up.

   And the little girl herself was too tired. After all, she was still very young and had never had experience in caring for people.

   She is a daughter and is obliged to take care of her mother. Having said that, Zhu Qingyue sincerely hopes that her mother's illness will be cured soon.

   "Woooo...let's wait for someone to help."

  Zhu Qingyue tried to call her father, but most of the time she couldn't get through. The only time she got through was when her father said that he couldn't come back for the time being and would find someone else to take care of her.

   "Dad is also true, what can be more important than mother?"

  Zhu Qingyue could not avoid resentment in her heart.

  …

  The next day, the carer my father invited arrived.

   That is a gloomy mother-in-law, Zhu Qingyue always thinks that she looks like the kind of vicious old woman that appears in TV series...

   This is just the little girl's immature and rude idea, but she is really afraid of such a stranger appearing in her home, so every time she sees her mother-in-law, she will walk around.

  Mother-in-law tried to talk to her several times, but Xiao Qingyue avoided them.

   But since this mother-in-law came, her life has really returned to normal. The mother-in-law not only has to take care of the mother, but also take care of her and the family.

  Xiao Qingyue finally doesn't have to eat tomato and egg noodles every day. The dishes cooked by her mother-in-law are very suitable for her appetite. It's like she knew from the beginning what she likes to eat, like, like...

  —Like my old mom.

  The first time the little girl had this idea, she was taken aback.

   She felt a little sorry for her mother lying on the hospital bed. It's not the mother's intention to get sick. As long as the body can recover, the mother will return to the way she used to be, right?

   "I'm your mother... Mother invited me here."

  One day, the mother-in-law found an opportunity to "force" the little girl into a corner and said to her.

   "Don't be afraid of me just because of the way I am."

  For some reason, the mother-in-law lowered her voice deliberately, as if she was afraid of being heard by someone. There was a tired look on her face.

   "Trust me...I'm here for your own good. Don't tell anyone, I can protect you...I have something to ask you to do, Qingyue, can you help?"

   "I...I don't know..."

  Zhu Qingyue was very frightened, she ran away after subconsciously getting over the lake.

"Is it really?"

   She couldn't believe what the other party said. Wasn't it the father who called me?

   In order to verify the authenticity of this matter, the little girl hurriedly went to the mother on the hospital bed to ask about the situation.

   "Hehe, I didn't call her."

  The woman's face was pale and her body was weak, but she still had a smile on her face, as if lying on the bed and immobile, it didn't matter to her.

   "She's lying to you."

   After Zhu Qingyue got the answer she wanted, she suddenly regained her spirits.

   When the mother-in-law wanted to talk to her for the second time, the little girl said loudly to the other party:

   "You lied, Mom said she didn't know you at all!"

   Hearing this, the mother-in-law was not angry, she just patted her head with a wry smile.

   "Yeah, I lied. I'm sorry, Qingyue."

   That wrinkled face, the kindness revealed in an instant, made the little girl feel...

   is a little familiar.

   As if we had met before.

  No, it's not just meeting, it's a very familiar and important person in her life...

   Who is that?

  Mother-in-law murmured "I can't protect you any longer", and then suddenly pricked up her ears as if she was listening to someone talking. After a while, the mother-in-law's expression became more tired, and even the wrinkles on her face became deeper, she turned her head and said to the little girl:

   "I'm leaving now."

   Hearing her mother-in-law say this, Zhu Qingyue widened her eyes in surprise.

   "Why, why...?"

   She really didn't like this mother-in-law. For some reason, she felt scared when she saw her for the first time, and she always felt that she didn't dare to approach her.

   But now, after getting along for a while, Zhu Qingyue suddenly didn't want her to leave.

   Sure enough, "people don't look good", my mother-in-law is actually a very gentle person, she is also very kind, and the food she cooks is delicious...

   "Because, the time has come."

   Granny replied.

   She stretched out her thin, trembling palm for the last time and stroked the little girl's hair softly.

  Mother-in-law disappeared from this home.

   As if she walked out of this door, she disappeared into this world without a trace, just like a ghost in a ghost story.

   can no longer be contacted, or in other words, never see her again.

  Zhu Qingyue is still young, but at this moment, there is a so-called "lost" feeling.

   And worst of all…

   Now, she has to take care of her mother and the family by herself.

  My mother's illness is still not getting better.

   A child who has just started elementary school, it is very difficult to take care of her own life, and now she has a "burden" who is seriously ill in bed. This responsibility is too heavy for her.

   But man is an animal of habit. No matter how hard the day is, as long as you get used to it, you will turn a blind eye.

  1st grade, 2nd grade, 3rd grade…

  The time of reality is passing, and people's perception is gradually numb; at the same time, the girl's heart is also becoming "mature" - a kind of maturity beyond her age.

  Before this, Zhu Qingyue had tried to ask others for help, but whether the other party pitied her and sympathized with her, or patted her chest and promised to help her, no matter how she reacted at the time, nothing would change afterwards—

   Now Zhu Qingyue has learned to smile to people, telling them not to worry about themselves, even if it is a fake, stiff smile.

  Zhu Qingyue doesn't care.

  I don't know when she stopped calling her father.

   Crying, tears, resentment, all kinds of impulses, all of them were exhausted in the disappointment day after day.

   No one will ever knock on that door again. Don't have extravagant hopes and fantasies, her father is probably not coming back.

As for the reason, maybe it was because she didn't want to take responsibility, maybe she had a new family in a new city, maybe there was some kind of hardship she didn't understand... She had considered similar guesses, but when she turned around, she found that these thoughts were all It's pointless, just torturing myself.

  What really matters is that Zhu Qingyue wants to live and live well with her mother who is seriously ill in bed.

   She knew that money would be remitted to their account every six months, and it was more than enough to support a mother and daughter in the city.

that's enough.

   That's what the role of "father" is all about in this family right now: an invisible invisible man, an explanation for the source of unknown funds, an illusion of absence.

  Zhu Qingyue's growth was rapid, she began to be able to deceive herself, and regarded the heavy burden of life as nothing.

  The only thing that still scares her is that she finds that she doesn't know when to start, and she can't remember what her mother used to be.

   As long as the girl thinks back, only the image of the sick and thin woman lying on the bed remains in her mind, just like the mother she has seen in her eyes since she was born.

  The current "mother" is constantly squeezing and eroding the "mother" in her memory, so that the once real life has become like a fantasy, making her unable to help but doubt:

  The happy family before elementary school really existed?

   Or, she lived this life after she was born, and the so-called "family of three" was just her imagination?

  The smell of medicine and disinfectant in the room stained the sleeves and necklines of every school uniform, and it will never dissipate for a long time.

   When she thought that this kind of life would continue, Zhu Qingyue felt so scary, so scary.

  The future that is visible to the naked eye is covered with a shadow that cannot see the light of the sun, and it is slowly swallowing every motivation that drives people to live.

   At the same time, with the growth of age, Zhu Qingyue's thinking is quietly changing:

   Is she the only one who is dissatisfied with such a life?

   No, it is not. Compared with a patient who can only lie in bed forever, she is at least a normal person with healthy limbs.

   In other words, the person who has been caught in the boundless pain and cannot extricate himself is not only himself, but also his mother.

  Mom never mentioned this matter, but stubbornly sticks to her own life, maybe... Maybe it is because she sees that her daughter is unwilling to give up?

  Because from Zhu Qingyue's own point of view, just by imagining it a little, she felt a sense of suffocation, and even the urge to self-destruct despite everything.

  Both sides feel unbearable with the current life.

  In this case.

  In this case…

  In this case—

   Late one night, she quietly pushed open the door of her mother's bedroom.

  Zhu Qingyue walked to the bed and listened to the woman's undulating breathing, her dry hair scattered on the pillow. She looked at her mother's neck, slightly lost in thought.