The days of being a spiritual mentor in Meiman

Isn't it my weakness to have never been firmly chosen? Constantine asked.

Bruce Wayne should believe it. When Constantine heard Schiller's answer, it sounded like think again.

You think this is wrong?

maybe.

Constantine really couldn't bear it anymore. He took a big sip of wine and said: I have paid the price. You can't always let me ask you. Shouldn't you ask me some questions and then give Can you give me an accurate answer?

That's what other Schillers do.

So what will you do?

you ask I answer.

Constantine felt very confused. He put his hands on the table and leaned forward. Although this did not allow him to see Schiller more clearly across the long table far away, but just to show his urgency, he also It must be done.

You can't perfunctory me. If there is no basis, how can you ensure that your analysis is correct?

If you want evidence, go to Bruce.

Constantine was really going crazy.

If there is no basis, isn't it just a guess?

I am.

The stunned Constantine saw Schiller finally slowly straightened up from the back of his chair. Constantine thought this was a sign that he would conduct serious analysis, but Schiller just picked up the bottle and poured more into the glass. Drinking wine, he leaned back in the chair and squinted his eyes.

This made Constantine suspect that he was asking at the wrong time. Schiller looked like a large beast that was digesting food. The mages digested moose meat, and Schiller digested the mages. What a wonderful food chain.

Pushing these unrealistic associations out of his mind, Constantine had to be more direct.

Give me a reason for doing this, so that I can believe that you didn't intend to trick me in your answer. It doesn't need to be scientific and sound, as long as it convinces me.

I'm afraid I'm not very good at it.

Constantine once again saw Schiller's ability to tell lies, but he still said: Tell me about it.

Schiller adjusted his posture and sat up slightly. It was obvious that he had accepted the impact of alcohol on his brain with great relaxation. Although the drunken state made him look more lazy and mysterious, if he was in this kind of situation, Seriously, Constantine can only be a bacon.

Do you know the difference in psychology between me and arrogance?

He finally asked the question! He finally asked! Constantine almost cheered in his heart, so he shook his head and said excitedly: I don't know, can you tell me?

I have less theoretical basis than he does.

ah?

Constantine couldn't imagine it, because in the only few times he had seen arrogance making judgments about someone's psychology, arrogance acted as if he had received divine inspiration, and this was by no means his only feeling. Everyone had the same expression as Constantine.

Constantine could not imagine how there could be no theoretical basis.

So you'd better not expect me to give any explanation for my judgment. You ask, I answer, absolutely accurate, without omissions.

Narcissist is the only label that Constantine can put on the current Schiller, just like a gambler saying I will win every bet.

Then let's give it a try. Constantine said without belief: What is the correct criterion?

If you think it's wrong, it's wrong.

No refund?

Full compensation.

This made Constantine himself look like a gambler, as if he was testing whether he could restrain himself from pointing out Schiller's mistakes and thus receive compensation.

He can always point it out, because Schiller is analyzing him now. Even if it's not him, who doesn't have faults in his words?

You have to make sure not to be too short and perfunctory, and not to go around in circles. Constantine habitually blocked all roads and said: Perfunctory words such as very good and not bad must not appear, let alone repeat known things. fact.

Guaranteed to be new and substantial enough to satisfy you.

Constantine was really shocked.

Are you sure you're not drunk? Instead, he began to question this, and even looked at the wine in his hand carefully. His many years of drinking experience told him that even a child would not be drunk with this amount of wine.

How many questions can I ask? Constantine asked anxiously.

Unlimited.

This must be some kind of manipulation trick to gain his trust, Constantine thought, just like when you use horoscopes to divine things, no matter what is divined, you will try it on yourself, but in fact it is because it is just some cliché that refers to the general public. Or it's definitely the kind of flattering words that people are willing to use on themselves.

But Constantine decided to try it anyway.

Then let's start with that question. Constantine swallowed and thought, If not having a firm choice is not a weakness of my soul, then what is my weakness?

Before that, let me first ask how your empathy is.

I think it's pretty good, what do you think?

My answer will probably be very abstract.

What is my weakness?

The sunset after the rain stops will be beautiful, but the rain will never stop.

Constantine was silent for twenty minutes.

A bolt of lightning struck the first half of a rotten man's life. From then on, most of the memory scenes that Constantine couldn't name, and those feelings that he himself felt fuzzy and broken, finally had a more appropriate sentence. describe.

Constantine believed it.

“How should I overcome my weaknesses?”

Go to bed early and get up early, have adequate nutrition and exercise appropriately.

You mean 'can't get over it'?

“I’m trying to give advice where I can.”

That just can't be overcome.

Constantine hesitated for a moment and then asked: Do you think this is necessary to overcome?

This is a too broad question. It needs to be considered based on all your experiences in the first half of your life. I can start talking now, but maybe you can use the question to get some key points in advance.

Constantine expected every answer to have such an effect, but he also feared it.

There is no doubt that if Schiller himself had begun to say it, he would not have gotten any more of these maxims, it would have been a hearty psychoanalysis on a psychological level, but if that were the case, why didn't he What about finding a professor who talks better?

Even if Constantine didn't want to admit it, he had to admit that he preferred this kind of answer. Even if there was no basis, it couldn't explain any principle. It was like a guess based purely on intuition. But at that moment, he saw the cold light on the sword. Stained with the blood of his own heart.

Constantine swallowed.

“What was my childhood like?”

The foundation that makes you look forward to the sunset.

This was an answer that was beyond Constantine's expectations. All the doctors in the psychiatric hospital where he had lived were saying that the neglect and abuse he received from his father, and his poor native family were all the tragedies he encountered. the root of.

Why do you say that? he couldn't help but ask.

That's the only time in your life when you can sit on the lawn in front of your house and watch the sunset.

The answer is surprisingly simple, but it is like an extremely accurate harpoon gun piercing a certain memory in Constantine's mind - he was bathing in the orange-red ocean, watching the light of the setting sun illuminate the grass into a kind of... A color that still cannot be described.

What else? Constantine wanted more.

It's not that you like the sunset, you're just curious as to why the Creator made its color so similar to blood, your father's blood.

Constantine's fingers froze.

The fragments of memory were completed. On the grass, blood was left along the cracks in the soil. He knew without looking back that the doormat was soaked with blood and there was an arm inside.

It would be great if they were really the same. Constantine murmured to himself in a low voice: It's not that similar.

But I saved my father, he added.

Do you want to say I'm wrong, or do you want to change this to another question?

If you're wrong, are we done?

No, it's just that the contract is not established. You can continue to ask, and I will still answer truthfully.

It was just another fuel for the gambler's greed, but Constantine decided to stay honest because he had not yet recovered from the shock.

Why would I save my father?

His death will be the first rain in your life.

Constantine felt suffocated for a moment.

Many doctors have judged him, saying that he is a weird and crazy born bad guy, just like those juvenile murderers. If they are not bad enough, they will not do it. If they do, it proves that they are bad enough.

When he was hypnotized and told about his past, doctors usually concluded that John was worried about being discovered for his murder. John was afraid that after losing his only close relative, he would have no one to support him and be sent to an orphanage. John decided to let his father Make a will before sending him on his way.

This is a common guess, because the whole logic is that John Constantine did not have no choice but to impulsively kill his father.

He came into contact with magic, learned the magic circle, spent a lot of time to find materials to practice on animals, and carefully arranged the magic circle after gathering all the elements - if he had any intention of going back on it at any point in time, his father He won't fall down. Isn't this enough to show that he is a cold-blooded madman?

Constantine himself often wondered about this.

Am I being bewitched? he asked.

No.

Schiller's firm answer frightened Constantine.

You look forward to a world without your father, but his death also makes you painful. Schiller said slowly.

“You spend your whole life doing this—diminishing your present pain at the expense of a better future, so the rain never stops.”

Constantine fell into a long silence again, while Schiller drank glass after glass of his wine.

Do you think I am such a person? Constantine asked.

Too mediocre. Schiller replied. Constantine asked again in disbelief, and Schiller added.

I mean, this kind of self-contradiction is too common. Most human beings have been doing this all their lives. Whether they don't study hard before exams or commit crimes at the risk of being sanctioned, it's essentially the same. .”

Then what's different about me?

Your tolerance for pain is much stronger than other people's. It's too strong. Schiller said: Long-term weakness and stress are not enough to crush your spirit, and they can't even kill your imagination for a better future. You Totally bearable.”

So, I should endure it until a better future comes? Am I on the wrong track?

You can't stand it.

Why? Constantine was even more confused by this contradictory statement.

Schiller said that he has a strong tolerance for pain, so shouldn’t the right thing to do be to endure it and exchange for a better tomorrow?

Schiller glanced at the scene on the table. There were leftovers and broken limbs. Everything was so decayed and strange.

You are happy. Schiller looked at the corpses on the table and said, Because these people finally got their comeuppance, because they finally went to where they should go - in short, died miserably here.

Not only are you happy to see this happen, you are even ecstatic, but it's not because they have suppressed you for many years - it's because you are the only one left in the magic world.

You did the same to your father. You saved him not because you loved him, but because everything he loved, asked for, and joyfully expected to be born would have died long ago, and died in your hands. All he has left is You’re next.”

So you chose to walk in the rain, making you the biggest tragedy in their lives, until they desperately realized that they only deserved to have you.

Your existence is indeed an almost natural survival of the fittest. Smart people choose death between you and death, because you slowly drown all the fools with your rainwater.

To avenge the injustice God has bestowed upon me?

Schiller shook his head.

To satisfy your arrogance, which is no different from these mages. The sunset is beautiful, but if he doesn't respond differently to your appreciation, you will let the rain keep falling.

Schiller said, looking into Constantine's eyes.

They are greedy for power, and you are greedy for the artistic appreciation of your chosen people. For this reason, you would rather live in a form that is easier to give birth to art - a complete tragedy.

This is not a performance. You put everything into it, use your strong pain tolerance as your advantage, and silently enjoy the artistry that some people have experienced from your tragic life. This makes you feel happy every time you think about it. To be satisfied.”

What about you? Constantine also stood up, put his hands on the table and leaned forward, Do you regard all of this as art?

Too much.

What?

There are too many Constantines.

Constantine's eyes widened.

Schiller shook his glass lightly and said: The most unique artistry of tragedy is that the similar darkness in a society leads each different soul to a different ending. This reflects the painful nuances of all people, extremely subtle and very... wonderful.

But if darkness leads many people in one direction and disciplines them to become the same, art will lose its uniqueness and become tasteless dross.

Schiller shook his head slightly and said: So I lifted you up to end your tragedy, because you are too close to me, and I hate being overwhelmed. I would rather spend money to buy a ticket to watch somewhere farther away.