The Golden Hairpin

Huang Zixia shook her head and said, "Unfortunately, I passed her front and back feet in the Foreign Teacher's Workshop, but I have never seen her."

"Well...I will never have the chance to see what my daughter looks like again." She sighed and said lowly, "When I finally saw Snow, she had just passed her fifth birthday. At that time, I was twenty-three years old. I had always told me that I don’t mind that Jingxiu who was born in Kabuki, Cheng Jingxiu, was my husband at that time. He said that growing up in this kind of place is not good for my daughter after all. Want me to leave with him."

Huang Zixia didn't know why she suddenly wanted to say this to herself. But looking at the dead silence around, in such a deserted palace, the night was long, and there was no way to see the way forward or the way to go. She looked at the queen and queen in front of her, and listened to her silently.

"In fact, Yunshaoyuan is a Kabuki theater, but it is definitely not a brothel. All of our sisters have cultivated themselves through art, respecting and loving themselves. But after a few disputes with Jingxiu, I had no choice but to agree to him. Followed him all the way north with his daughter to try his luck in the capital. Because he thinks that his painting skills will surely be appreciated by people in Chang'an.

"Unfortunately, the road was not peaceful. The soldiers and bandits were in chaos. My savings for many years have been scattered. When we arrived in Chang'an, we were already embarrassed and could only rent a small wing to live in. Jingxiu also went out to try his luck at the beginning, but he There is no way, who would recommend him? Soon he was met with cold eyes everywhere and never wanted to go out anymore. He just sat in the room and sighed.

"When I was in Yangzhou, I was respectful and suave. I only needed to paint and amuse myself every day, and I was gentle with me, so our relationship was very good. However, once I arrived in Chang'an, the poor and lowly couples were sad, I suddenly found out that I was looking for The man of, he didn't even have the ability to survive. At that time, Xue Se fell ill again, and in the small, damp and cold wing, even the veined hairpin that Jingxiu had given me pity was pawned. We were hungry and cold, we had no food and clothing, not to mention treating my daughter...I ran around the hospital with snow in my arms, but because I had no money, even if I knelt at the entrance of the hospital and crying and begging, I still ignored it. Jing Xiu Came to pull me back and scolded me ashamed. I could only hold my daughter all night, wipe her body, open my eyes to listen to her breathing, and watch the sky gradually light up outside the window... At that time, it was also such a long night. , It's the same, it seems that once I close my eyes, I can't keep all the despair in front of me..."

Even though it was the old thing twelve years ago, she was still desperate and bitter when she said it, and she easily cut the deepest part of her heart. She leaned on the pillow, opened a pair of blank eyes with no focus, and the words in her mouth were erratic and confused, as if they were not being told to her in front of them.

"Xue Lu's life is so great, and finally survived, Ke Jingxiu fell ill again because of depression. Seeing that our family was about to be thrown out of the dilapidated wing because I couldn't pay the rent, I could only hide it from Jingxiu. People go to West Market to find opportunities.

"I remember very clearly. It was the cold winter season, and the dead leaves of locust trees fell on the streets of the West Market. There was a woman about 50 or 60 years old, dressed in tattered brown linen, sitting in the West Market. Begging at the street corner. She was holding an old pipa with broken paint and mottled, singing the song "Long Xiang Shou" in a deserted tone, with a hoarse voice. Dirty and messy hair piled unkemptly on her shoulders and lined up Her dirty and wrinkled face is like a weathered stone piled with dry moss. But there is no way... the rags on her body can't cover the knife-like cold wind, and her hands are already frozen and bleeding. The lips are also chapped and purplish, and the sound axis of the pipa has not been adjusted for a long time, and the string is crooked. Where can a pipa really come out?"

Two lines of tears finally slipped slowly in Queen Wang's staring eyes. She clutched her face and choked: "You won't understand... the despair in my heart at that time. That day, I stood in front of the woman for a long, long time. In the cold and rainy afternoon, the West Market was deserted. I looked at her, as if I had seen myself thirty years later, from a scorching flower to a black dregs wrapped in rags... helpless, poverty and sickness, and finally I died numbly and desolately on the street, and my bones decayed silently. No one knew that I had the appearance and talent that thousands of people could contend for..."

She took a long, trembling deep and deep breath, and said with difficulty: "That afternoon, I abandoned all my innocence and understood that the so-called love is actually vulnerable to reality. What I really need is not And Jingxiu is dependent on each other, but-I want to live, and I want to live well, never have the day when I beg in the West Market with my pipa!"

Huang Zixia looked at her silently and did not speak.

"At that time, I met a sister who was studying art with me. She was such a clumsy person, she didn't look good, she always played the pipa wrong, and she didn't learn a piece of music for more than three months. ——But she married a tea dealer, dressed in new brocade clothes, big golden flowers on the sideburns, swaying in her head seven or eight steps, a kind of rustic, steep and rich, but a hundred times more glamorous than me. She sat on the carriage and stopped me, who was walking alone on the street, with a sympathetic and ostentatious expression, and asked me how I became like this, and asked me if I needed help, and found me a job to teach Pipa.

"At the time, she didn't even get off the car, she looked at me and smiled condescendingly, but I still felt lucky, because I had really reached the point where I was exhausted. Without her, I didn't know where I would go next. I followed her to the Langya Wang’s house. I only said that I was her distant relative and fell to the capital because of the death of both parents. My pipa skills made everyone admire, so I stayed. I went back and packed a few pieces of clothes and took that. The little money that the sisters donated to Jingxiu, said, wait until the monthly silver is sent, and then send it over." Her voice was faint, lightly indifferent, "At that time, I didn't even tell him where I was going. Xue Xue. Se was holding my leg and crying, I could only gritted my teeth and picked her up and put her in Jingxiu's arms, while he only looked at me in silence. I walked out of the courtyard and he still didn't make a sound. I couldn't bear it. I turned my head and took a look at my husband and daughter, only to see Jingxiu sitting on the bed with snow in his arms, the sun’s rays shone on his eyes, his hollow eyes kept staring at me, staring at me. , Until now, still in front of me..."

Her voice finally became lighter and lighter, almost indifferent. But in her eyes, a kind of crazy dark fire was beating, which made her heart tremble.

Huang Zixia couldn't help but whispered, "Presumably when you left Xuese, you were also very unwilling to give up."

"Yes, but I have to live my life well, I can't take care of her." Queen Wang looked at her with a cold smile on her cheeks, "Not long after I was teaching Pipa in the Wang family, Wang Yun came to visit. When I went out holding the Pipa, I saw something light up in his eyes for an instant. When I was in Yangzhou, many people looked at me like this, and I ignored it, but at that moment I suddenly didn’t know why, for a moment... …Only hesitated for a moment, I held the Pipa and smiled at him, with Jingxiu’s favorite, gentle looking up gesture. Sure enough, Wang Lin soon came to me to discuss, saying that King Yun had mistaken me for the daughter of the Wang family. Let me enter the palace by mistake. He was powerless about the decline of the Wang family. He was really sick and went to the doctor. He didn't know that I was born in music, let alone that I had a husband and a daughter, so he dared to discuss with me. And I listened to the king. Lin’s words, like a dream, flashed past the old pipa girl in Xishi, with her dark face, lips, and hands... I immediately agreed! Then I said to myself, Just like moths fighting the fire, even if I die, I will definitely die in a brilliant place!

"The world is so ridiculous. For the past twelve years, I have lived like a fish in the palace and have lived better than anyone else. Unconsciously, I got rid of the sister who recommended me to the king's house. It took a few years for Concubine Guo Shu to fall out of favor. From Rong Hua to Zhaoyi to De Fei and then to the Queen, although my Yaner is only the fifth son of the emperor, he has been named the prince. I know that the most suitable for my life is the court! I stand at the highest point in the world. , To accept the worship of all the people, even if I don’t have my lover and daughter, so what? I live a splendid and prosperous life, and everyone in the world is envious of it!"

Huang Zixian whispered: "But your daughter doesn't want to go to Beijing to meet you. Even if you can get the whole world, but your hands are covered with blood from your relatives and sisters, don't you feel guilty and sad? "

"Guilty? Sorrow?" In Queen Wang's cold eyes, a trace of almost invisible bleakness flashed. But then, she raised her chin and glanced at her with a sneer, "Twelve years ago, I was as innocent and romantic as you. I thought that if I had a husband and a daughter around me, even if I was poor and sick, I was still happy. It's a pity... …It’s a pity that people will change, and hearts will grow old. There are only days that have to pass by day by day! When you face the desperate situation of life and death, you will understand everything!"

Huang Zixia stayed silent for a long time, and then asked, "So, later, did you never see Process Jingxiu and Xuese again?"

"No. Since I decided to enter Prince Yun's Mansion, I asked the sister to redeem the leaf vein condensed hairpin that I had pawned, and handed it to them, telling them that Mei Wanzhi is dead, you guys. No need to find her."

Huang Zixian was still waiting for her words, but the Queen seemed to have no desire to say anything anymore. She lay on her side on the couch in a daze, amidst the splendor of the palace, she was immersed in the past in a daze. For a long time, for a long time, she lowered her eyes and smiled sadly: "Yes, since that day, Mei Wanzhi died. Since then, she has been afraid and hated Pipa and never touched it again. There is only one in this world. Wang Shao, lives better than anyone else, lives in a deep palace, and is prosperous and prosperous. Even if I die, I will die in the tall and beautiful house, within the beautiful and beautiful Luo. In my life, I am very prosperous and seek for benevolence and benevolence. "

Such a bleak tone can't hide the stubbornness.

She didn't want to say anything anymore and waved slightly to signal Huang Zixia to retreat.

Only at the moment when Huang Zixia got up and left, she heard Queen Wang behind her, whispering: "Three years ago, that sentence, what I said, is true."

She turned her head in amazement and looked at this cold and decisive woman. At the end of the palace, the Queen said quietly: "At that time I saw you, fourteen years old, walking in a silver-red dress in the spring sun, like a sprig of cardamom in the wind. That's it. At that time, I suddenly thought in my heart, if the snow is by my side, she must be so beautiful."

The night in Tai Chi Palace is quiet and deserted.

Huang Zixia walked out of this neglected palace step by step along the path of the time he came.

The starry sky above his head slowly shifted, the palace lanterns had been extinguished along the way, and the sound of singing insects echoed densely in such a quiet night.

Huang Zixian looked up at the sky and looked at the dense stars.

If everyone's fate is a star, at this moment, it seems that everyone's fate is just a trivial flicker. People live in the world like grass and mustards. Even if the stars fall like rain and fall everywhere in the wild, it is only a flash of light, only a slight sigh after thousands of years.

She walked to the gate of Taiji Palace and walked out of the side door that opened slowly.

Under the starry sky, in the dark night, stood a tall and tall figure. He looked at her walking out with a calm expression under the silent star and moon background. And the reflection of the stars and moon in his eyes, the moment he saw her figure, seemed to be stirred by water and light, and fluctuated slightly.

Huang Zixian stood at the gate of the palace, lost for a while.

And when he walked towards her, his voice was still so cold and distant: "What are you doing in a daze? Let's go."

"Master..." Huang Zixian called out to him helplessly, looked up at the outline of his face in the light of stars and moon, and asked in a low voice, "Have you been waiting for me?"

He didn't answer, turning his face to one side: "Come along."

Looking at Chang'an in the curfew night, Huang Zixia couldn't help but smile.

Li Shubai ignored her, turned and walked towards the carriage.

Huang Zixia hurriedly followed him, thought for a while, couldn't help but ask: "What if... I mean what if, if I didn't understand what you meant and I was really killed, then you weren't waiting for nothing?"

Li Shubai didn't look back, and said: "First, the queen lost power at this time and was living in the cold palace. How could she kill you, the person who exposed her identity at this time? How would you explain it to the emperor?"

She thought to herself that she had never been between the court and the court, of course she didn't know that. Besides, if it's really okay, why should you kick me into the water three times? Why stand here all night waiting?

"Then...what about the second?"

"Second." Li Shubai finally turned his head and squinted at her. In the quiet night, the long wind passed by them quietly.

"If you don't even understand my suggestion, you are not Huang Zixia."

Huang Zixia smiled involuntarily.

It's hard to get off, and the night is gentle. She sat on the carriage with Li Shubai and headed towards the Kui Palace.

The golden bell of the carriage shook lightly, and among the glass lamps hanging in the carriage, the small red fish slept quietly on the bottom of the bottle, like a silent flower in the water.

Outside the car window, the street lights of Chang'an slowly penetrated in and slowly flowed past.

Bright and dark light, deep and shallow shadows, silent fleeting years.

The light and shadow cruising in the space two feet apart between the two of them seemed to freeze.

At this moment, at the gate of Chang'an City, Xiao Shi, with snow-colored ashes in his arms, looked up at the vast Milky Way. She firmly hugged the snow in her arms, holding her only ashes in this world, and weeping.

A hundred miles away, Chen Nianniang, who hurriedly escaped from the capital, trudged over the wasteland where the wind was whistling. She raised her head and looked forward to the boundless road, the sky and stars were prosperous. From then on, she was alone in the world, and the only thing she could hold tightly was the pair of small jade pendants in her hands.

Thousands of miles in Kyushu, under the stars and moon, quiet night buried everything.

[The second hairpin: Jiuluan lack]