To Your Island

It took Yin Xian ten years to develop from a small company of ten people to a large international engineering company.

At the age of 40, his career is in full swing and he has everything that most people envy. There is no shortage of people who are suitable for marriage, but he has no family and devotes all his energy to work.

At the age of forty-three, he felt that his memory had deteriorated.

At first, he thought it was caused by age, stress, and fatigue, and he didn't take it seriously.

Gradually, he began to fail to recognize his friends, important partners, to remember work information, and to say what he had done a while ago.

I felt depressed and panicked deep in my heart, but Yin Xian did not stop to rest, and still put on the skin of the controller every day to deal with all his work.

In this state, one day, he woke up and found himself in a suit, walking on the road without shoes.

He had no impression of how he changed his clothes and walked there.

Then Yin Xian's situation deteriorated rapidly.

He couldn't go to work normally; then, he couldn't read, read, or calculate; later, even the most basic daily behaviors, such as dressing, getting up, and brushing teeth, had difficulties.

People close to him asked him to seek psychological counseling, but he was unwilling.

The company was handed over to a trusted partner, and he retreated behind the scenes.

Hiding at home all day long, Yin Xian stopped going out.

The soul image was locked in a transparent glass jar. Although he could see the outside world, he still couldn't perceive it and couldn't blend into it. In this life, I bury my head and ran forward. Why, suddenly I can't remember everything.

Friends sent him pets to accompany him, precious cats and dogs, talking parrots, rare turtles, fish, mini pet pigs... Yin Xiantong refused to accept them.

Until one day, he took the initiative to buy a rabbit.

It's the kind of ordinary rabbit, white, fluffy, with a fat and silly face.

He didn't know why, so he thought he wanted to raise a rabbit like this.

Yin Xian called the rabbit Fat Fat. He liked the name very much. He suddenly thought of it.

Because of the fat company, his mental condition improved.

In this way, he lived to be 47 years old.

Yinxian got up one morning and saw his rabbit lying motionless in its den.

It is dead.

Suddenly hit by a sting, he could not describe what drained his spirit, in short, he fell completely.

... Yin Xian was taken to the hospital.

He recovered a life from the line of life and death, and then he was strongly recommended for psychotherapy.

After a doctor's diagnosis, Yin Xian was diagnosed with dissociative memory loss, accompanied by depression, and avoidant personality disorder.

The psychologist initially tried drug treatment for Yin Xian, because he himself had a long history of taking psychiatric drugs and the treatment effect was not good. After many psychological talks, it was difficult for the doctor to diagnose the cause of his illness. In the conversation, Yin Xian's most frequently repeated sentence was: "The fat is gone."

Fatty, his rabbit.

It died dying, causing him to collapse to this point.

Yin Xian couldn't remember more deep-seated traumas, and couldn't tell.

After much consideration, in order to find the cause of the disease, the team recommended that he receive hypnotherapy.

Yin Xian knew that there were only two ways before him, to end his life, or to try this last hope.

Hypnotherapy is not going well foreseeably.

The therapist led him into the subconscious world, where no valid information was still found. He believes that Yin Xian's traumatic memories exist in the unconscious world below the subconscious level.

However, the sub-ideological Yin Xian refuses to enter the unconscious and refuses to visit the previous trauma. Even if the therapist is struggling to build a guide for him, he does not want to trust it.

The treatment has hit a bottleneck so far, and the obvious symptoms are getting worse.

He relies on alcohol to numb the pain in order to obtain a moment of mental peace. He didn't know what he was looking for. After being drunk, he folded the chewing gum package into a paper crane and wrote words on its wings one by one.

As it was written, with a splitting headache, he rubbed it into a ball and threw it into the corner.

He doesn't remember anything...

The turning point came in the 23rd hypnotherapy.

A new guide appeared in the subconscious mind. She sat a paper crane and fell from the sky noisily.

The young girl had a fierce expression. She stared round eyes and told him in her subconscious viciously: She is his ex-girlfriend, and her name is Wang Jiexiang. She was bullied by him and is very angry so far. She must let him Think of her.

Then, she ran across the six rooms, unlocking them one by one.

Waking up from the last hypnosis.

After staying in the unconscious for too long, Yin Xian has been lying on the hospital bed as a vegetable for several months.

After he regained his language skills, the therapist came to take notes.

He was pleasantly surprised to find that Yin Xian's missing memories were all restored. This means that as long as follow-up treatment is followed up, he has a great chance of not getting sick again.

...

Fifty years old.

Yin Xian spent half his life.

He suddenly awakened from a big dream, his body was empty, and he looked in the mirror, only to realize that he was old.

After finishing psychotherapy, Yin Xian walked out of the hospital.

He walked down the street with his hands behind his back. The young couple passed by him, they were so close, the girl's hand was put into the big pocket of the coat by the boy, sweet.

The earth is free from the coldness of winter, and it is already the season of spring.

Yin Xian went to the cemetery.

She occupies a small one among the many grids in the ashes depository.

The cleaning of the staff made the glass in front of her grid not dusty.

The yellowed photos, the little girl who loves her, has been like a day for twenty years.

She was still standing in front of the marriage bridge, waiting for him to come, narrowing her eyes with a smile.

Yin Xian picked up the photo, wiped her face, looked and looked...slowly pressed the photo to her heart.

He remembered her.

Remember her name, remember that she likes rabbits; remember that she was wronged and asked why he can't add chili to the egg fried rice; remembered that she happily held the rabbit keychain and circled around the house; remembered that she was sitting on a snowy day when she first met The rocking cart in front of the supermarket was so sad to hear Lu Binghua cry...

Yin Xian thought, Jiexiang was willing to return to his hometown.

She stumbled out of the mountain, but there was still a place in her heart to hold it. She missed her unfettered childhood, and missed her mother. She yearned for the warmth from relatives that was never given to her completely.

So Yin Xian came to Wang Jiexiang's hometown for the second time.

This time, it was with her.

He didn't drive, he took the bus as before.

The mountain road is flat and wide, and when you look around, there is a pure green in the mountains.

The old branches at the entrance of the village were luxuriant, and there was an adult man holding a child under the tree. Yin Xian approached, and the man waved to him.

That is Wang Jiexiang's younger brother, Wang Jiehao.

Her father and grandma are gone, and her brother is her only remaining close relative.

Before coming, Yin Xian tried a way to contact him and explained his intentions to him.

The last time he saw Wang Jiehao, he was still a little boy.

Today, he is married and has his children.

Yin Xian brought him some presents, and Wang Jiehao accepted them bluntly.

Jiexiang was buried by Yin Xian next to her mother's tomb.

The place where she sleeps is a place with a wide field of vision, with mountains, a whole stretch of green mountains.

Yin Xian let Wang Jiehao go first.

He sat in front of her tomb and stayed with her for a while.

While leaving, Yin Xian remembered the way down the mountain.

He would come to see her often, and always see that he could not walk anymore.

When he came, he was holding the jar, and now she fell into the void in her arms. Yin Xian's footsteps stopped at the foot of the mountain.

Dragging the sick body, even though he walked slowly, he was still out of breath.

Finding a shade, he sat down to rest.

There was a spring breeze blowing across the mountains.

Lifting his eyes, he caught a glimpse of a bunch of flowers blooming well.

When I approached, I saw that the light brown branches were blooming with globular flowers. The bunches of flowers were actually piled up by a lot of tiny flowers. The little flowers were clustered together to form a warm yellow-white ball.

He asked the old man who was passing by what the flower was called.

The old man said: "It's called Jiexiang."

"Jiexiang?" Yin Xian was stunned.

A few years ago.

The sweater she knitted for him has a round neck and long sleeves, the color is special smoke wave blue, and the stitches are regular and flat. When my finger touched the edge of the sweater hem, there was a small bulge. Turning over, there was a small plush flower hidden inside.

"If you don't like that flower, you can cut it off."

Wang Jiexiang scratched his head awkwardly.

He asked: "What flower is this?"

She laughed but said nothing...

Several years later.

Wang Jiexiang stayed in her hometown.

Yin Xian brought a branch of fragrant flowers home.

The scented flower tree is also called the dream tree. According to the legend, put the knot fragrant flower under your pillow, it can bless your dreams come true, get rid of bad luck, and find a lover.

The author has something to say: At this point, the story of "To Your Island" is all over.

The flower language and legend of Jiexiang, the source of information is the encyclopedia of China Garden Network, which is beautifully written. If you are interested, you can search for "Jiexiang China Garden Network Encyclopedia". It should be the first one.

At first, I wanted to tell a reconciled story. Little Rabbit Island came to me.

——"That boy, he doesn't seem to love you so much, and he doesn't care about you so much. I know you are not convinced. I go through all the details to find proof of his love for you."

I guessed that this story would be difficult to write and would be unpopular, but when I had the original idea of ​​Little Rabbit Island, I knew I had to write it.

Today, I finished the little rabbit island, thank you for the three months of company, thank you for giving me the power to write down, I hope this is a story worth reading twice.

Finally, I wish you, I wish we, no matter whether we choose to look back or move forward, we will have the opportunity to reconcile the old wounds.

This is my column, if you want, see you next time.