Unlucky black cat

On May 10, 2020, I once again thought about dying.

In the messy room, with the sound of keyboard tapping, such a sentence was left on the flooded computer screen.

A young man sitting cross-legged in front of the computer desk, wearing a pair of dull black-rimmed glasses, a green-brown plaid shirt and a pair of baggy marge shorts, stared blankly at a text document.

He seemed to be still, but also seemed to be thinking about something.

It wasn't until a long time later that his fingers moved again.

The words May 10 were deleted and changed to May 10.

Because he thought it would be easier to read this way.

But then, he began to think about the rationality of the word go die again.

I wonder if using this word in the text would seem too artificial.

So, what can it be changed to?

The young man thought about it from beginning to end, and even began to read the entire sentence aloud, trying to feel the differences in the words more deeply.

So, another six or seven minutes passed.

When he suddenly woke up, he rejected his idea of ​​changing the wording because other words seemed not appropriate enough.

So, let’s do this for now.

Um……

Finally, it should have taken about ten minutes.

The young man finally finalized the first sentence in his suicide note for a certain character in his novel.

On May 10, 2020, I once again thought about dying.

Immediately, the young man continued to write a self-question and answer in the empty computer text.

Why do you want to die? The reason may be difficult to explain. To describe it, it may seem extremely ridiculous.

Then his brows furrowed again, and he began to revise the above content one round after another without stopping.

Why you want to die? The reason may be difficult to explain. To describe it accurately, it will probably make many people find it extremely ridiculous.

As for why you want to die, the reason may be difficult to explain, and it may seem extremely ridiculous to describe it.

As for why you want to die, the reason may be difficult to explain. To describe it, it will probably make many people find it extremely ridiculous.

In such meaningless changes.

The young man recited a simple statement dozens of times. Take apart every word, break it into pieces, and experience it over and over again.

But I can't find a context that I think is accurate. Sometimes I get too deep into it, and I keep checking punctuation marks and sentence fragments.

Each sparse and ordinary word gradually became extremely complicated in his eyes.

Even in the following narrative, he even considered:

Whether the same words should not appear consecutively, whether the succession of paragraphs rhymes, whether the sum of the words can be divided into the number of chapters.

He tried to make his writing neat.

But then, he realized that his behavior was pathological, so he wanted to break the framework.

Unexpectedly, in the end, his thoughts only strengthened his restraints.

And so on, the cycle repeats.

Until the end, the young man's thoughts turned into a complete mess.

ah!

Finally he cried out, lay on the table and grabbed his hair.

In the second year of living alone, He Wen felt that he seemed to have lost his talent for writing.

He has a disease, an obsessive-compulsive mental illness that stems from specific factors. As a result, I suffered from many symptoms of anxiety and depression. Then he had to take medication to adjust his daily life.

He felt like he was going crazy, yes, he was going crazy.

In the chaotic words and paragraphs, under the completely illogical sentences.

It was like there were countless tongues wagging around unanswerable questions, while forcing him to answer them.

But He Wen didn't know the answer at all, so the voice in his ears couldn't stop.

ha……

Among the tables and chairs stacked with clutter, the young man who had vented his emotions was breathing heavily, tiredly.

He wanted to quiet the voices in his head.

At this moment, there is no doubt that I want it very much.

…

Recently, Jiang Sheng has found a new way to find food.

It is different from accepting charity from others, and different from rummaging through leftovers from restaurants, but adopting a more dignified way to maintain one's own survival.

Collectively, this type of behavior is often referred to as hunting.

Yes, Jiang Sheng learned to hunt in the city.

As for where its hunting ground is, it's actually not unusual. The exact location is in a river beach on the edge of the city.

The water there is not deep and is connected to a small stream, so there are often schools of wild fish swimming by.

This undoubtedly provides Jiang Sheng with an excellent fishing place.

The spacious and clear riverbed gives it perfect conditions to maximize its advantages.

The way black cats fish is roughly as follows: first let the black energy on their bodies interfere with the behavior of the fish, making them unlucky and sluggish.

Then it is like a stone, waiting quietly at the place it deems appropriate, just waiting for a blind fish to swim to its side.

Finally, it will use its sharp claws and fangs, as well as its strength far beyond that of ordinary house cats, to break through the water and capture it.

I have to admit, this approach does feel a bit like waiting for something to happen. But the skills involved between the two are far apart. (lifelike)

Luck, patience, and strength are all indispensable. This is Jiang Sheng's way of survival.

Meow! followed by a menacing cat meow.

Another palm-sized grass carp was slapped onto the river bank by Jiang Sheng, flopping feebly.

Slowly walked to the other party's side and picked up the fish's belly with his mouth.

He didn't pay attention to the strong fishy smell, but the cat's taste buds made Jiang Sheng squint his eyes in comfort.

At this moment, it had to admit that its resentment was not entirely useless.

Grudge is the name Jiang Sheng gave to the black energy bred in his body.

There was no special reason or conjecture, just because their concepts were not so auspicious, so Jiang Sheng equated both parties.

Also speaking of controlling his resentment, Jiang Sheng has not made any progress so far.

It seems that any living creature that is close to it for a long time will be affected by this ominous aura, and then become unlucky.

The degree of bad luck fluctuated, and Jiang Sheng himself couldn't figure out the pattern.

From a fish's perspective, sometimes it's just a moment of trance. Sometimes, the death occurred suddenly and violently, leaving Jiang Sheng a little confused as to how to eat.

Stab it.

Cleanly tearing off a piece of snow-white fish flesh, Jiang Sheng lay down on the grass beside the river beach. While wagging his tail, he enjoyed his lunch.

Its life is still peaceful, and except for the poor fish, even the occasional butterfly flying by will not be disturbed.

A week after Xia Zi moved away, Jiang Sheng, who just watched her leave, returned to his careless life.