Faithful to Buddha, Faithful to You

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I sat on the train and stared at the rapidly receding landscape outside the window. It was already a cold winter in January, and the leaves were withering, and there was a gloom like my mood. Handing over a paper cup in front of me, it was steaming green tea. I took it and said thanks.

The boss sat down next to me and sighed: "Don't think about it anymore. After you go back and read the book, you will graduate in July. It's time to consider finding a job."

I "huh" with my hands warm on the cup, my eyes still staring out the window.

It has been three months since I came back. I have been sick in bed. The doctor said that fortunately I came back in time, otherwise my arm almost died. The two large bags on my body helped me withstand the impact of falling, without further damage to my arm. The operation cleaned the rotten flesh and allowed the new flesh to grow slowly. However, hands are not as flexible as they used to be. Is this the price of changing history?

Reporting on my physical condition in detail, and then doing a full-body examination, it was concluded that the radiation I accumulated during the four crossings exceeded the standard and I am no longer suitable for this project. I tried to persuade them that I can wear it again, but my boss ruthlessly killed it before reaching the level of group discussion. The boss said that I need to recuperate now and insist on taking medicine every day to expel toxins from my body. I'm still young, he doesn't want me to have any sequelae.

The boss has always been guilty. Heard that he had a quarrel with the research group's National People's Congress, and then angrily quit the project. He warned me not to think about crossing anymore. Our school has completely disassociated from this crossing project. Then, when I recovered almost, he took me back to school. Of course, I won a big bonus, enough for me not to work and live for several years. But when I got the passbook, my heart was only bitter.

school? How long has it been since I returned to school? I don’t know if I can make up the missed class. The boss comforted me and he would help me with credits and schoolwork. The value of the two big packages brought back is inestimable. My notes and many solitary books require me and a group of experts to work together. I handed over those artifacts, leaving only a few pieces: the Adelaide silk scarf from Roche, the handkerchiefs he put in my cupboard for me, and the lion in honor of Vrsatipah Pei Yu.

Just ended my journey through this? Since I was in graduate school, I haven’t been in the class a few times, and I have been running around this crossing project. Twenty-two-year-old was preparing for the test. He successfully crossed the road at the age of twenty-three and returned at the age of twenty-four with a bruise. More than two years, have I been in my dream? Without that piece of Adelaide silk and the piece of jade peony hanging on my neck, I can’t believe I actually lived, breathed, loved...

Zhuang Sheng Meng Die, in the end I am Zhuang Sheng, or butterfly?

Back to school naturally caused a sensation. Teachers, classmates and friends who haven't seen for a long time all stared at me with wide eyes. That night, the students opened a PARTY for me in karaoke, drinking, karaoke, playing dice, and making trouble until two in the morning. Two o'clock in the morning? Haha, struggling to open his eyelids, did not sleep after ten o'clock.

It hasn't been back to reality for a long time, and suddenly became a little uncomfortable.

It turned out that Chang'e really ran to the moon and was running happily around the moon. It turned out that the price of buns in the cafeteria changed and the body was still in shape. The stock market, which turned out to be profitable by individuals, now traps many people. It turns out that the price of gasoline has risen, no wonder teachers all started to take the school bus, and even clamored to change to a BMW bike. The most popular thing now is to watch the posture of "Lust Caution". The most popular topic is to be canceled next May.

The female classmates in the dormitory all fell in love and ran happily every night at night. From the weekend to the six-person dormitory, I was often the only person left, and the others came back with an ambiguous smile the next morning.

My friends are sorry for me. Claim that if I haven’t disappeared for so long, I’ve already talked about it now. It's a pity that the boys in our class who were a bit interesting to me can't wait. I smiled and said, otherwise there is no share for you.

After shopping with the sisters, they always make fun of me, and I don’t know that the popular style has changed again. It’s not that I’m outdated, it’s that the world is changing too fast. Sometimes, I really miss the pure world, no pollution, no hustle and bustle, a slow and idyllic life, a clean day, sweet and sweet grapes and cantaloupe, bright and clean people.

Walking on the street, he would suddenly look back, and it seemed that he saw the lonely figure in the crowd, but after catching up, it was a dissimilar person. Among the crowd, when they hear a gentle voice, they will try to find it, but they always apologize to people in disappointment. Walking alone, his eyes searching, and then suddenly squatting beside the road and crying loudly, no matter how many people shot surprised eyes. The nerves of modern people have been extremely strong, and after crying, they wiped away their tears and continued to walk. No one ever came forward to ask Hou.

It turns out that loneliness is not born, but the moment you fall in love with that person.

The leaves are wings that can't fly, the wings are the leaves that fall on the sky

Heaven should not be a delusion, but I have forgotten how to start flying

Loneliness is a carnival of one person, carnival is a loneliness of a group of people

The beginning of love was company, but I gradually forgot how people were accompanied

I eat and travel all around, stop and go, and read and write letters to talk and talk by myself

It's just that where the heart has drifted again, I can't even see it myself. I think I'm not just losing you

The most heard in the middle of the night is this "leaf", over and over again, until I hear that there is no electricity. "Where the heart floats again, I can't even see it myself. I think I'm not just losing you." Every time I heard this, I couldn't help crying. I can still feel the warm kiss on my lips, but I lost it after all. What exactly is lost? Is it just love? I completely lost my heart...

When I went home for the New Year on winter vacation, my mother saw the scar on my arm and felt sore. I lie to her that she fell on her own. After the New Year, as usual, I celebrated my 25th birthday on the tenth day, blowing candles and eating cakes. I chewed on the sweet and greasy cream and suddenly remembered the sketches that Roche painted for me every year. Is he still painting now? Not right, how can there be now? Everything about him is past for me.

When I came back from the winter vacation, there was no more class. Everyone was so busy looking for work. Our professional work is not easy to find. It is not a lucrative business to stay in school as a teacher or enter an archaeological institute or museum. Some classmates can't stand it anymore, they work in the company as secretaries, and they have sales. The topic of "future" is the most talked about by everyone, only I am not interested in considering it at all. Wrote several papers about Kizil Thousand Buddha Caves, which caused a sensation in the academic world and also brought controversy. As for work, the boss told me to let me stay in school while reading a blog while teaching. I didn't immediately agree to it, and wanted to go through the days of "walking around alone, eating and traveling, and reading and writing letters, and talking and talking by myself".

When April arrives, he finally can’t help but pack his bag and dare not go to Xinjiang, fearing that he can’t help but get to Kuche. Looking at the ruins after 1,650 years, it is completely different from the state of mind that I inspected at that time. In the same place, but separated by thousands of years, love each other but can't keep together. I will be crazy like that kind of torture. So I chose to go to Tibet, a place where I can purify my soul.

I entered Tibet from the southern Sichuan-Tibet line, departed from Chengdu, passed Ya'an and Kangding, and remembered the sixth Dalai Cangyang Gyatso when I arrived in Litang. His sentence ""White crane, please lend me my wings." "Don't fly far away, just go around Litang", which makes Litang have an indescribable charm. The beautiful Niege Peak and the endless Maoya prairie look so pure on a plateau at an altitude of four kilometers. , Annoying and dismissed.

Passing along Mangkang, Bomi, and Bayi all the way, the scenery on the road is just a perfect photo, and the variety of scenery makes people forget to breathe. When I saw the Potala Palace on the top of the mountain appearing far away, I finally arrived at the holy place-Lhasa.

I traveled with different donkeys along the way. Everyone walked along a certain road, AA system. When we get to the next place, we break up and go together again. I have met a lot of friends along the way. Everyone is young and has a certain social experience. There are many things to talk about. Often such a trip, there will be a pair of men and women. Girls who live in the same room with me will never return for a night. It's just that this kind of love in the journey comes and goes quickly, and rarely can go back to their own lives and continue to maintain.

In Lhasa, follow a group of young people who have just met at the youth hostel to the "Nian" bar on Beijing East Road. Everyone drank and got up, and they played "truth, big adventure". I was just having a good time at first, but when I saw "truths" all were sexual questions, and those who played "Big Adventures" were all KISS coming to KISS, I had no interest.

When it was my turn to tell the truth, a young Beijing boy asked me: "When and where did you first make love and how did you feel at the time?"

I sighed and said awkwardly: "I haven't."

After a burst of laughter, several boys stared at me with naked eyes, and some even told me in a joke that they could help me.

I almost escaped from the bar. I don’t know what happened to the young people now. I have no experience at my age. They look like monsters. What is popular now is fast food like sex, fast food like love, eat quickly, wipe your mouth, continue to the next meal, too late to chew. What I am looking for, the kind of pure love, the person I have to struggle with even kissing for a long time to ask if it is possible, does it really exist? Or in the 21st century, such love has become a rare treasure?

I will not participate in such clubbing anymore. Isn't this carnival a lonely group of people? Then I would rather be alone and lonely. Lhasa walked aimlessly in the middle of the night, the night sky above him was truly pure, and the twinkling stars seemed to be within reach. There are not many such beautiful night skies in the city. The ancient oasis country in the desert once had the same beautiful night sky.

At Jokhang Temple, Potala Palace, and Drepung Temple, when I saw the solemn appearance, I worshiped with the devout Tibetans and knelt. When I heard the heavy snail blowing, I would tremble and feel that moment my soul drifted away from the unknown. After kneeling hundreds of times, I finally understood that no matter where I fled, I could not escape the knot that penetrated into the soul.

After returning to school, my senior brother came to me, he is now working in the Institute of Archaeology. After squeezing for a while, he finally confessed to me. And I immediately agreed. His blush at that moment reminded me of that breezy figure...

I don't want to tell myself, saying that I can't stand loneliness, that I actually miss that person in my heart. My reason for accepting him is simple: because he is a person in reality, and I, after all, live in reality...

Part Three: Wind and Rain, Let's Spend Together (Part 1)