Invade the World

  Chapter 173 I will listen to you well, so...

  "In this trip to the haunted house, many, many things really happened..."

  Zhu Qingyue’s voice was soft and soft, echoing quietly in the dim room.

"There are too many to react at all, and my mood often fluctuates with ups and downs. The only thing that is clear is that the differences and problems we have to face are becoming more and more, but in the end, none of them can be solved. How can this be? Don't be confused?"

  This is indeed the case.

  Xu Xiangyang feels the same.

  At first, when he entered this house, he felt that Qingyue’s condition was a bit wrong, so he began to consider whether the girl was upset because of the confession, but the squad leader simply denied it;

  Afterwards, Qingyue showed a strong desire to control-in fact, he had felt this before. The gentleness of the squad leader only remained on the surface, and she was essentially a very self-conscious person.

  ...But, he didn't expect the girl to be so explicit in front of him.

  Xu Xiangyang feels that his personality is very gentle, even if a girl has a wayward place, he is willing to tolerate, but still can’t accept being played as a marquee doll;

In the end, he even discovered that the girl has a tendency to self-destruct, and compared with this matter, the above two character issues have become unimportant-he can do anything to hurt himself. It was what worries and angers him the most as a friend.

  It has only been a few days.

   "It seems that I am not the only one who feels the headache."

  Xu Xiangyang, who was pressed by the girl under her body, unconsciously wanted to nod, but found that she was still unable to move.

"During this period of time, my relationship with you has become closer, right? I have a deeper understanding of each other, right? The progress can be said to be advancing by leaps and bounds, and I was almost caught off guard, but is this a good thing or a bad thing? , I don’t understand... Maybe, maybe it’s better to maintain a life like in the past."

   "However, I think this idea is wrong."

  "A stagnant relationship is like a pool of stagnant water, and it will not be good for the future of the three of us."

   "So, the next thing to do is to summarize. Solve all the problems that have been exposed between us in one go..."

  It's quite serious to just listen to her. But--

  Xu Xiangyang struggled subconsciously for a while, he once again remembered his current situation, and suddenly became angry again.

   "Qingyue, you said let us face each other frankly, but you tied me up! How can this, this look be called—"

   "Haha, frankly..."

  The girl sitting on him laughed in a low voice.

   "Xiang Yang, the current me is undoubtedly the most honest me. In other words, I wanted to do this a long time ago."

  She rubbed the boy's cheek with her fingers, her voice was filled with a deep smile, but it was full of danger.

   "Tie you up like this, motionless, like a cute toy, I can play with whatever I want, you can't resist me..."

  Xu Xiangyang was a bit speechless.

  He rolled his eyes and was not ready to continue struggling. He didn't even have the strength to scold the other party.

   "Forget it, do it if you want, anyway, as you said, I can't resist you."

  "Ah, don't get me wrong." Zhu Qingyue smiled happily when she heard this self-defeating answer. "This desire is not only directed at you. In fact, I have had similar thoughts to Xingjie."

   "So, you didn't do anything to her, but tied me up. As expected, it's because I'm easier to bully, right?"

  Xu Xiangyang complained a little bit irritably.

   "How do you know I didn't do it?"

   she asked rhetorically.

"what?"

  This unexpected answer made him stunned.

   "I really wanted to do it, but I was easily freed from it at the time, there was nothing I could do."

  The squad leader’s fingers slowly moved from the cheek to the neck. Xu Xiangyang felt a little itchy, desperately to keep his expression from showing up, but he couldn't help but shiver.

  It might be a little strange to say that, but he suddenly thought of those lewd **** demons who took the heroine in the movie. Before the hero came to save the scene, they would all touch and feel "hehe" while smiling...

"Moreover, there are still differences. Although I have always regarded you both as friends of equal status, boys and girls are still different after all. Until recently, I had no real sense of this fact. ."

  What does this mean?

  Sir squad leader, but it seems that she has no intention to continue on this topic for the time being, she said again:

   "Forget it, let's start from the beginning. The problems need to be solved one by one, starting with me. For you now, where is the most uncomfortable place for me? Is it **** by me like this? Or..."

   "Of course it was just what happened, I don't want...No, you are not allowed to hurt yourself like this anymore."

  Although he was **** and unable to move, Xu Xiangyang's answer was still very hard.

  Zhu Qingyue smiled and nodded.

   "I knew you would say that. You care more about other people's affairs than your own experience."

  The girl lowered her head a little bit, until Xu Xiangyang could see nothing but the bright face in Xu Xiangyang's field of vision.

  "Do you know that the more you are like this, the more I like you, and the less I want to let you go..."

  Xu Xiangyang curled his lips without answering.

  The light hair fell on his nose and lips, and he finally restrained the urge to sneeze. His nerves were highly nervous, and his eyes were watching her every move without blinking.

   "However, since you have chosen this answer, I am ready to answer honestly..."

  Zhu Qingyue sighed faintly, then suddenly straightened up and moved his legs away from his body.

  Xu Xiangyang could only hear the rustling noise from his ears, and there was a slight feeling of falling from the bed under him.

  He realized that the squad leader had already lay down, sleeping next to him.

  ...... Ah, that’s it? You tie me up and do nothing?

   Then you somehow unlock me!

  Xu Xiangyang doesn’t know if he should be angry or fortunate.

"I did try to cut my wrist." The girl's voice came from her ears, "However, that was a long time ago... By the way, Xiangyang, I don't seem to have told you about my family. ?"

   "No. Last time I visited your house, I just stayed at the door for a while."

  In spite of this, Xu Xiangyang can actually vaguely feel some signs of "The family background of the squad leader may be very complicated", but he has never asked.

  Just like Xingjie knows that his guardian is not his parents, but never asks where his parents are.

  This is a kind of tacit understanding, a kind of tacit understanding between teenagers and girls who have the same disease.

  The reason why he, Lin Xingjie and Zhu Qingyue are attracted to each other and become close partners, is it related to this similarity? At least, Xu Xiangyang cannot deny this possibility.

   "I live with my mother now, and we are two of us. My mother is seriously ill, and I usually take care of her in daily life. So it is impossible to invite others to come as a guest at home."

   "Then your father is..."

  Xu Xiangyang's voice is a bit hesitant.

  "He is still there. But, in another city."

  He can't see her, he can only rely on his impression to imagine Qingyue talking while playing with her hair.

  "When I was in elementary school, the two of them had emotional problems, and in the end the relationship was completely broken, which can be said to be strangers. When they stayed under the same roof, they would be regarded as invisible to each other."

  "Later, when my father wanted to be transferred from the local area due to work, he simply moved away from home. However, up to now, the two still dragged on and did not divorce."

"Maybe my father is out of image considerations. After all, he holds an important position in a government agency, and it is not good to be exposed; it may also be because my mother insisted...In short, since I was in elementary school, I only wanted to contact my dad. I can use the phone. Sometimes when I go to the post office to get the remittance, I can see his signature on the slip. This seems to be the only contact between me and him."

"Of course, I think I am a little luckier than Xingjie. At least my family has no problems with financial conditions. My father... That man is still very generous in this respect, even if he only took a month or even half a year later. I will call home once."

  Xu Xiangyang opened his mouth, but failed to express decent comfort.

   "Actually, when I was in elementary school, I was not like I am now. It was very popular everywhere. My classmates hardly liked to play with me... They said that my face was scary."

   "It must be those guys who are blind."

  Xu Xiangyang answered decisively.

  This is not deliberately to please. Seeing the beautiful face of the squad leader, he can say such things. They are definitely ignorant guys. All the boys in the 15th middle school can testify with him.

  Zhu Qingyue couldn't help but laugh.

   "No, I'm not talking about good-looking and ugly issues, but..."

  She suddenly grabbed his hand and Xu Xiangyang was taken aback, feeling that the other party raised his hand and slowly put it on his face.

  His fingertips touched the soft skin and moist lips.

"here."

"teeth?"

   Xu Xiangyang guessed.

  "Did you have crooked teeth before and were laughed at after wearing braces for a while?"

  This kind of thing is ridiculous in the eyes of adults, but this is how children are, even if there is a little difference, they will booby the nickname group.

  Zhu Qingyue laughed again, her laughter was as clear and beautiful as a silver bell.

   "Really, don't make me smile when people talk about this serious topic... It's a smile, a smile. I used to have no smile on my face, so my peers are a little afraid of me."

  Xu Xiangyang suddenly.

  He suddenly remembered something. That night, when he and Zhu Qingyue were in the classroom to avoid being chased by the possessed, there was indeed such a thought in his mind:

  Different from Lin Xingjie’s pure face with a little baby fat, the squad leader has a gorgeous face like an adult, if there is no soft smile full of affinity, Zhu Qingyue will be an inaccessible cold beauty.

  Now it seems that this kind of "coldness" may be even worse than he imagined.

  "Then, it took a while until I had the perfect smile. Some people will say that you smile so fake, just like wearing a mask."

   "Plus, after junior high school, my mother's condition never got better... During that time, my mental pressure was really a bit heavy, so I have tried this kind of thing."

  "I don’t want to commit suicide. My reason is not fragile. It’s just that when I cut the blade into my skin and feel pain, the depression and depression in my heart seem to flow away along with the blood."

   “Think about it now, it’s a bit naive to use this way of hurting yourself to relieve stress. But I was still immature at that time.”

  Hearing this squad leader talk about the past in the tone of a past person, Xu Xiangyang inevitably felt complicated.

  Because this sense of powerlessness is so real, no matter what age you reach, the dark memories of growing up are always with you.

  —— Even if you become a superpower, can you change the past?

  The emotional breakdown of Zhu Qingyue’s parents and Lin Xingjie’s mother are difficult for girls as children to face.

  Adults may have unspeakable and unspeakable difficulties; but no matter what, the harm they cause to their children is real and indelible.

  For the two powerful teenage psychics, it is very easy to deal with ordinary people, and their flesh and blood are fragile in front of alien monsters;

  As humans who manipulate monsters, they all possess delicate and sensitive emotions. They may have hatred, sorrow, or anger towards their family members, but they will not deal with their family problems rudely.

  So, even Xingjie, all she can do is to live her life well, and the rest about her mother... As long as she doesn't go too far, she doesn't want to care, and she has always regarded it as invisible.

  In a sense, this is of course an escape. But Xu Xiangyang consciously did not have this position to guide her. On the contrary, he felt that Xingjie's choice was not wrong.

  Moreover, for young people of this age, it is no longer easy to protect themselves.

  Xu Xiangyang had the experience of being blackmailed by social youth when he was in elementary school and junior high school. This kind of thing is called "Kemi" in the nearby area.

  In the school he went to, among the surrounding students, there were no people who had been threatened by campus violence or had been "Kemi". It was a rare thing.

  So, it is a rare fortune to be able to awaken the ability now...

   "--but, I have overcome this kind of thing a long time ago."

Zhu Qingyue's words brought him back to reality.

"Your accusation is correct. I only do it to vent my emotions. In fact, everything that I have experienced since entering this house is a rare experience for me, this kind of inability to control myself. It feels, I haven't felt it for a long time."

   "Then why..."

  Xu Xiangyang couldn't help but speak.

  He actually has the same confusion.

  The squad leader has a difficult side to get along with, but the importance she attaches to two friends is not false, so in the past, she will carefully wrap her inner heart with soft words.

  Even when you are persecuting yourself, you won’t be annoying. No way, her character, her mind, can do this kind of thing.

   But all this has changed since the two were locked in this haunted house together.

  Zhu Qingyue’s actions gradually deviated from his usual view of her... Judging from the fact that she had just disclosed that she was “uncontrollable”, she might even deviate from the guidelines she set for herself.

"Why?"

  The girl asked rhetorically, and then replied with a smile.

   "It really is because I am very upset. Very, very upset."

   "Unhappy?"

  Xu Xiangyang is even more confused.

"Yes."

  Zhu Qingyue brought her legs together and changed to a more feminine posture, but still sat on his stomach.

"I'm a bad boy, I want to control you. I always do things that make people worry. I know you will hate, but I can't help it... So far, I'm still expecting it. I'm not going to Because I kept pretending to be a good boy, I even believed it."

  "I can pretend to be myself in front of others, but I can't do it in front of you. The me who is by your side is the more real me. I think this kind of ‘reality’ is more important than considering the ability to accept."

  "...Your situation is generally called ‘willful’."

  Xu Xiangyang couldn't help but vomit.

   "It's really a sharp point."

  Zhu Qingyue sighed slightly.

   "There is no way. Because I have known for a long time that you are a person who can tolerate this kind of willfulness."

   "But even so, in the emotions and thoughts that have occurred in my mind recently, there are still parts that are difficult for me to accept. That is..."

"--envy."

  Her voice became unusually deep.

  Xu Xiangyang's eyes widened incredulously.

   "You, didn't you say..."

   "That's me deceiving myself and others."

  Sir squad leader's answer straightforwardly blocked his questioning.

  "You are right, Xiangyang. Regarding the possible change in the relationship between you and Xingjie, I...actually cannot accept it from the bottom of my heart."

  "It's not just worrying about whether I will be left behind by you. When I see the two of you together, I always think: I'm afraid I will never be able to have no reservations about each other like you."

   "When I think of this, I feel...unbearable."

  "I was not left behind, but from the beginning, I was not able to stand on the same starting line as you."

  The eyes of the boy and the girl meet deeply at this moment, and his and her thoughts, emotions, and sincerity are all revealed.

   "I know that I first brought up this matter. It may sound unreasonable to you... But, can you promise me one thing now?"

  She leaned down and whispered in his ear.

"If you answer'yes', I will help you untie the thread. I will never do anything like this in the future. There are other... shortcomings that make you intolerable. I will try my best to correct them. I will listen to you. Words. So..."

The hot and humid air flow from between his lips and teeth blew the boy’s ears. Zhu Qingyue watched his ears slowly turn red, and heard his breathing become hurried; her palm was supporting his chest, and the sound came from her strong chest. The reverberation of "dong dong dong", the voice followed her little hand and spread to the depths of her body...

  The girl lifted her vermilion lips lightly, and her tone was so serious that she did not want the other party to hear a little hesitation.

   "—— Xiangyang, after you get out of this house, don't you confess to Xingjie, okay?"

  ……

  Time seems to have passed a long, long time.

  Zhu Qingyue thought she could not hear the answer, even though she knew that the boy under her was not the one who would choose to shrink at this time.

  For a moment, if she realized: In fact, she didn’t want to hear the answer...?

  But after a long silence, Xu Xiangyang still spoke up after all.

  He looks at her seriously, his tone is calm and determined.

"--I do not want."

  (End of this chapter)