Maybe a Fake Gintama

Chapter 700: Hey, I'm going to die for fraud... No, no, can you come to my funeral?

Latest website: Please! You should just squeak, Kagura-chan——!

Listening to Chengye's unbearable cry in his ears, Kagura, who was lying on the hospital bed, had an idea: [Yes! By taking this opportunity to talk to me, I can be resurrected! 】

Thinking of this, Kagura felt happy, and then quickly turned her face to the side and said at the same time: I...

But as soon as I said the words, I was stopped by Sougo who came to the bed and hit me on the neck with an elbow at the right moment.

Hmm, what what?

Sougo pressed his elbow hard on Kagura's neck to prevent her from making any sound, while pretending to prick up his ears, while nodding from time to time.

That's it. That's it.

[So... so painful...] ​​Kagura, whose breathing became unsmooth, thought painfully, [What on earth does this guy want to do? 】

I got her wish, Your Highness.

Sougo said this to Princess Chengye.

Really? Princess Chengye said in surprise, holding her hands.

Yeah. Sougo nodded without changing his expression.

At the same time, Kagura slowly closed her eyes under Sougo's constant torture, and her consciousness gradually fell into coma.

The last words Kagura heard before she passed out were what Sougo said to everyone...

Start the funeral preparations quickly.

Some things can only be conveyed to true friends.

Jiang Cheng sighed with such emotion, and at the same time, he quietly put the money for the incense offering into his chest.

It's not like we, adults, seem to be of no use at all.

Gintoki also sighed softly, and at the same time calmly stretched out his hand to compete with Jiang Cheng for the incense and memorial money.

【You bastard! 】×2

Jiang Cheng and Gintoki refused to give in to each other.

No one knows how long this dispute will last.

In the darkness, Kagura, wearing a pure and elegant white cheongsam, slowly opened her big eyes full of confusion, followed by doubts in her little head.

【Ah? Where... is this? Ah? I can't move, I can't make a sound, am I... sleepy? 】

Just when Kagura was wondering about herself as if she was asleep, a small skylight was suddenly slowly opened above her head, and some dazzling light slowly shone in.

Looking at Jiang Cheng's head with a soft expression that suddenly poked through the small skylight, Gintoki with a relieved expression, and Shinpachi who was hiding his sadness, Kagura felt confused in her heart.

【Um? 】

She looks peaceful. Gintoki closed his eyes and sighed softly.

What are you talking about? Jiang Cheng looked at Kagura with gentle eyes and replied softly: She has the same energetic face as usual. Even now... she is still very energetic.

That's right... Gintoki shook his head slightly and changed his words, This guy is probably the same as usual when he gets there, as energetic as usual...

Kagura-chan... Shinpachi couldn't help but sobbed again.

[What are these three guys doing? 】

It's ready. A kind old man's voice suddenly came from the side.

Jiang Cheng raised his head and replied with a gentle expression: Then let's go...

【Why? what? Where to go? 】

squeak--

As the door was slowly opened, the guards standing on both sides of the road, all dressed in formal attire and with solemn expressions, started wailing at the same time.

Under the leadership of the leader who was riding a horse and advancing slowly, Kagura...no, the coffin containing Kagura, which carried the love of countless people, was slowly lifted and headed towards the auditorium.

Jiangcheng, Yueyong, Gintoki, Shinpachi, several family members and Kagura's acquaintances in formal attire slowly followed the coffin with heavy expressions.

At this time, Kagura, who was being carried in the coffin, finally noticed something, and his expression became slightly worse.

【What is this? What is this annoying feeling like? Could it be...]

After seeing the white chrysanthemums framed on the gate he just passed above - Her Royal Highness the Princess's Friend, Kagura's Farewell Ceremony written in black on a white background, some of Kagura's suspicions were confirmed!

【My funeral has begun——! ] Kagura exclaimed in her heart that something was wrong, and she collapsed and thought, [And it’s at the level of a state funeral—! 】

Princess Chengye, who also put on a dark formal dress, was right next to Kagura. The tears in the corners of her eyes, the handkerchief in her hand, and the constant sobbing sounds all proved that Princess Chengye was not happy about Kagura's sudden loss. of grief.

your Highness.

Sougo, who was following him, comforted him softly: She must be very happy now, to be able to send her off with such a big ceremony.

The moment she heard Sougo's voice, Kagura was shocked: [It's hard...could it be said...! 】

And you can still bathe in the sunshine that has been burning so hard. Sougo said, pressing the ultraviolet switch in the tanning salon-type coffin in his hand, It must be very happy to sleep in a tanning salon-type coffin before going to hell.

Kagura was baked by the dazzling and scorching ultraviolet rays irradiated by the dense ultraviolet lamps on the inner wall of the coffin, and her whole body felt bad.

[That guy...that guy...discovered it! ! 】

In the grand and solemn funeral venue, Kagura's coffin was placed at the front of the spacious venue.

At the top is a photo taken from the OP of Kagura smiling happily at the camera.

An eminent monk from a well-known temple sat in front of him and recited scriptures softly for him. Behind him, there were people who filled the hall and came to see him off.

Namo Amitabha...Namo Amitabha...

With a muffled sound of banging the alms bowl, the monk's chanting work came to an end, and then it was the family's turn to give speeches.

Perhaps because Jiang Cheng was (ostensibly) crying and unable to speak, Grandma Denshi slowly came to the microphone as the elected representative.

Cheer up... you are the only real relative here, right? Yue Yong comforted Jiang Cheng in a low voice, who was holding the portrait of Kagura to one side and wiping the tears that couldn't stop with his other hand.

Hug... I'm sorry. Jiang Cheng replied with sobs, then wiped his tears and stood up straight, raised his head and looked forward with complicated eyes.

Everyone, thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to attend this funeral.

Grandma Dengshi had a heavy expression and gently bowed forward.

With so many relatives and friends coming to attend her funeral, the child Yuchi Izumoshita should be able to feel at ease. Yes, just like her smile, she was a child who hated gloominess.

So please send her off with a smile at this last moment. This must be... the best farewell gift.

After the mother-in-law finished speaking, she slowly took two steps back. Jiang Cheng turned the portrait in his hand to Yue Yong and then walked forward slowly.

After taking a slow and deep breath, Jiang Cheng lowered his head and bowed.

Thank you... After thanking him, Jiang Cheng stood up slowly and continued with a soft expression: For that child, this may be the last thing she wants to say to everyone who came. Come alone. When I arrived on this strange planet, I unknowingly walked away from so many bonds, and at the last moment... looking back on my life on earth for so long, that child will definitely feel satisfied just because he met you.

Jiang Chengsang... Shinbachi murmured, then turned his face away unbearably, sobbing quietly.

This child is happy every day on earth. Because of everyone, he must feel happy. So... thank you all again.

Jiang Cheng lowered his head again, and at the same time his shoulders could not stop shaking slightly.

That's enough... Yue Yong gently pulled Jiang Cheng up and comforted him softly, then took a step forward and gave a bow to everyone and said with soft eyes: Next, please place the farewell flowers in turn. In the coffin, let’s say goodbye to her for the last time.”

After Yue Yong finished speaking, the part of sending flowers to say goodbye came.

Sougo was the first to step forward slowly, holding a flower.

Looking at Sougo standing silently in front of the coffin holding flowers, Shinpachi whispered softly: Okita-san...

Looking at the back of Sougo whose shoulders were shaking uncontrollably, Kondo closed his eyes and said with emotion: Sougo, this is the first time I've seen him show such an expression. He obviously gets noisy when we meet, human beings There is no difference between this kind of creature when it loses a good friend and when it loses a mutually annoying object of quarrel...

Kagura, who was lying in the coffin unable to move, looked at Sougo, who could not stop laughing with only the word dirty written on his face. He opened his eyes desperately while cursing in his heart.

【What the hell——! ! 】

How does it feel to lie in the coffin? Sougo asked casually, and at the same time he increased the intensity of ultraviolet rays in the coffin, and continued calmly: I hope you can take a good bath when you get to the underworld. Sunshine, so I specially prepared a tanning salon-type coffin for you.”

【It's so hot! ! It's going to burn! ! What on earth are you thinking? Let me out quickly! 】

I understand. You don't need to say anything. I understand all your gratitude.

【Who would be grateful to you! 】

You're just pretending to be sick to make sure your boss doesn't care about you, right? Then you're pretending to be sick, so just pretend to die, so that you can see people's nature more clearly. Don't worry, you will spend the next half day You can't move or make any sound, your dead look is absolutely perfect! Don't have too few opportunities to see your own funeral with your own eyes~ You have to be grateful to me.

As he spoke, under Kagura's horrified gaze, Sougo put the flower in, and then continued:

Boss, if they really care about you, they will definitely find out. But by that time, you may have been nailed in the coffin, or burned in the kiln. But this is your own fault. Hate it. If so, I’d hate you for foolishly choosing to pretend to be sick.”

After that, Sougo turned around, covered his mouth and left slowly, pretending to be sad.

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